Advice from our master Rabbi Elozor Menachem Mann Shach zt"l concerning Shidduchim and Marital harmony.

Advice from our master Rabbi Elozor Menachem
Mann Shach zt"l as written down by Rav Eliezer Ginsburg
concerning Shidduchim and Marital harmony.

• I heard concerning the Sabba from Kelm zt"l that on Friday night after Maariv on his way home from the Bais HaMedrash, he would think over all the kindnesses his wife had done for him during the week, and as he entered his house and said "Gut Shabbos" the words of blessing would emanate from a heart full of gratitude.
• The cornerstone of a harmonious home lies in the art of compromise. Even in the face of seemingly trivial disagreements, it's crucial to yield, fostering an environment of understanding and peace.
• The wife must be home in the evening when the husband returns from Kollel or work and should greet him joyfully, dressed in presentable and nice clothes. This was said in response to a situation in which the wife was well-educated and gave Torah lectures to women in the evening. Our master Rav Shach replied that a wife must be home in the evening, even if this causes the cancellation of the shiur.
• The Shabbos table should be organized, accompanied by Torah thoughts and songs, and praise for the memorable tunes and songs for Shabbos, especially those his wife loves to hear. Upon entering the house, when returning from the Bais HaKenesses, one should sing "Sholom Aleichem Malachei HaSholom", as this is a Segulah to bring marital harmony into the house for the coming week. One should always praise his wife regarding the tasty food, the beautiful appearance of the table, and the house in honor of the holy Shabbos.
• The husband must allocate dedicated time to study with his wife, focusing on topics that interest her. Ideally, they should delve into a sefer that explores Mussar, cultivating virtues of good character and a deep love for Hashem Yisborach, the bedrock of a Jewish home.
• There should be a room or a special place set aside in the house specifically for learning or dining by reciting Tehilim or other prayers and requests. It is well known that there was a place designated for him to daven in the great Gaon Harav Chaim home from Brisk zt'l. Similarly, the Chofetz Chaim was related to having a place where he could seclude himself, account for his progress concerning his soul, and daven for the many needs of the Jewish people.
• Above all, you should always be joyful and praise HaKodoish Boruch Hu and tell one another when they observe an incident of Divine providence, the Hand of Hashem, or Heavenly mercy.

The Holy Shechinah will rest in the house through these guidelines and always merit the helping Hand of Heaven.