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When the great Rav Shimon Schwab shakes us awake and tells us that no matter how many times you try, if you do not master this skill you are bound for failure, and it really puts a bit more emphasis on the idea.
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It makes you really want to learn what it takes to be a successful parent.
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Listen to this fascinating Yesod from the great Rav Shimon Schwab, the Rav who is hailing from that separatist community that Rav Hirsch actually started before learning in Telzin Mir, one of my favorite all-time Torah giants and sages, where he's pulling apart the Haftorah of last week, where Mrs Manoach is struggling to give birth to any children.
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She's crying to Hashem and eventually this Malach Elohim, this angelic figure that's masquerading himself in the body of a human, of a man, comes and says Behold, you will have a child, but be sure to keep all the laws of Nazir, for the child is to be a Nazir.
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We got Shimshon, one of the great Shoftim, and, in an interesting turn of events, the Malach it leaves without saying hello to her husband.
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Mrs Manoach runs to her husband and says you're not going to believe it.
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We're going to have a child, and not only that, but he's going to be a Nazir.
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And he said that we need to keep all the laws of Naziris with this child.
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And Manoach's response Quick.
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Let us call the angel back so I can hear him say it what the laws of Naziris are and I can ask him what to do about this child.
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And if Shav doesn't understand, what more is Manoach trying to learn?
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Is it he just doesn't trust his wife?
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Hardly, that's the pshad.
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Is it the pshad that he needs to hear it from the mouth of an angel?
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Why Just go ask your friendly neighborhood shofet, the local Orthodox rabbi, or open up a Torah school to figure out the laws of Nazareth?
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Why does he need the angel to come back?
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And even, furthermore, to make matters worse, he asks the angel what are we to do about this child who's to be a nazir?
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And the angel responds with the same thing Whatever.
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I told your wife, just do that.
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So nothing new has come about.
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But oh, no, no, says Rav Schwab in a beautiful piece.
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It sings like music out of the words that Manoah wasn't asking.
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The angel just again trying to reiterate that same halacha.
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But he was asking.
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I understand that you told my wife that we are to have a child that needs to be a nazir and I know the halachos.
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But he was asking the angel how do I parent, how do I educate, how do I do the mitzvah of chinuch in this special needs child who's to be a nazir?
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And you know what he answered.
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The angel said All that I told your wife you should do, meaning that a parent cannot just talk the talk, but he also must walk the walk.
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For if you educate your child or give him millions of Musser discourses, you reproach him.
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You need to do this better.
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If the child sees that the parent, his father, doesn't act that way, then your Musser will fall on deaf ears.
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No matter how many times you will try to rear a holy Nazarite, if you don't keep those halachos, at least while your wife is pregnant, well then it will be a failure.
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No matter how many times we try to reproach our children that they should sit at the Shabbos table and sing Zimiros, it's absolutely fruitless If Tati doesn't sit at the Shabbos table and sing Zimiros with Simcha.
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No matter how many times we should tell our children to put down their phones.
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If Tati or Mami doesn't put down the phone and pay attention to who's talking, then the child will never be Zochar to put down the phone.
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Examples can go on and on.
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But if you want to have a child that's going to be Kadosh, like Shimshon, what was the angel's advice To be?
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Mechanachim to manoah, ikol, asher, amarti ala, isha, tishmar, all of the hilchos and the zeros that I told your wife.
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You be sure to also keep those laws.
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That's how you raise successful, happy, productive children, says the great Rav Shimon Schwab.
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Thank you.