May 29, 2024

The Making of a Mentsch: An Exclusive Interview with Rabbi Moshe Walter on Preparing for Shavuos, and Overcoming Challenges

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Season 7

How does the intricate dance between Jewish law and ethical behavior shape our daily lives? This episode invites you to journey through the vibrant world of halacha with Rabbi Moshe Walter, whose extensive educational background from celebrated yeshivos and mentorship under illustrious rabbis has shaped his profound understanding of Jewish law. Rabbi Walter shares his unexpected path to becoming a noted author, revealing how his deep-seated passion for halacha evolved into a full-fledged literary career that resonates with scholars and laypeople alike.

We explore the profound interplay between the commandments governing our relationship with God and those concerning our interactions with others. Rabbi Walter delves into the importance of studying ethical behavior with the same rigor as ritual laws, referencing debates among revered scholars like Rambam and Ramban. The episode underscores the vital role of good middos (character traits) in truly internalizing Torah values, with insights from Reb Chaim Vital and the Gra highlighting the necessity of character refinement as a foundation for effective Torah learning.

From practical halachic guidelines for visiting the sick to balancing tzedakah with personal prayer, Rabbi Walter addresses contemporary issues such as driving etiquette and the significance of good character in the lives of Jewish leaders. As he gears up to release an insightful book on the history and development of the Siddur, this discussion promises to enrich your understanding of how these timeless principles shape our communities and personal lives. Join us for an enlightening conversation that bridges the eternal wisdom of the Torah with the nuances of modern living.

Click here to buy Rabbi Walter's books!

Click here to buy "The Making of a Mentsch"

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Questions or Comments? Please email me @ michaelbrooke97@gmail.com



Chapters

00:00 - Journey of Jewish Law Author

10:36 - Halachos of Interpersonal Relationships

19:07 - Importance of Good Midos in Judaism

25:03 - Guidelines for Halachic Practice

35:37 - The Balance of Tzedakah and Hospitality

47:00 - Halacha and Driving Etiquette

52:33 - Importance of Middos in Gedolim

01:01:26 - Exploring the Making of the Siddur

Transcript
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00:00:00.480 --> 00:00:06.193
Without further ado, the great Rabbi Moshe Walter, welcome to the Motivation Congregation podcast.

00:00:07.240 --> 00:00:07.701
Thank you.

00:00:07.701 --> 00:00:08.765
Thank you for having me.

00:00:08.765 --> 00:00:10.529
It's very exciting to talk with you.

00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:19.574
So what I know about you, just to introduce you to the audience, I looked into you for a little bit to figure out if everything is what they say about you is true.

00:00:19.574 --> 00:00:21.181
I have written.

00:00:21.181 --> 00:00:30.070
I found in Rabbi Aron Lopensky's introduction that he says that Rabbi Walter himself is a paradigm of menschlichheit and most appropriate that he brings the Torah to the public's attention.

00:00:30.070 --> 00:00:33.490
And I know also that you're fluent in a lot of Shas and Poskim.

00:00:33.490 --> 00:00:37.591
If you don't mind me asking where you attended yeshiva when you were younger, I find it interesting.

00:00:38.883 --> 00:00:41.270
Sure, sure, sure, it's a multifaceted background.

00:00:41.270 --> 00:00:48.323
I went to pretty standard high school.

00:00:48.323 --> 00:00:49.005
I went to MTA.

00:00:49.005 --> 00:00:49.726
That's where my career began.

00:00:49.726 --> 00:00:52.393
I attended Yeshiva Rakotel after high school.

00:00:52.393 --> 00:00:59.740
I then found myself in Wayu for several years and after that I went to the Mir Yeshiva in Yerushalayim where I spent many, many years.

00:00:59.740 --> 00:01:02.463
I lived in Yerushalayim for close to 10 years.

00:01:02.463 --> 00:01:04.667
I learned primarily in the Mir's kol?

00:01:04.667 --> 00:01:08.131
Ol in Yerushalayim, but I also was in many other kol?

00:01:08.131 --> 00:01:12.316
Ol in Yerushalayim as well during my time there.

00:01:14.362 --> 00:01:14.522
Wow.

00:01:14.522 --> 00:01:18.292
So who did you learn on during there Tisrael, if you don't mind me, who were the rabbis?

00:01:19.060 --> 00:01:27.459
So most of my time I really, truth is really, from a very young age I had an affinity for halacha and learning Ali B'dahil Chassah.

00:01:27.459 --> 00:01:35.674
So even in Bais Medrash, whatever Masechta I was learning, I always found myself learning Rambams and Shulchan Aruch and Tur Bais Yosef.

00:01:35.674 --> 00:01:46.656
So I always had a strong affinity, trying to understand how exactly Psak Halacha worked and what emerged from the sugiyas and organizing the sugiyas in that fashion and what emerged from the sugyas and organizing the sugyas in that fashion.

00:01:46.656 --> 00:01:52.079
So really my entire tenure in Kol HaNir Shalem for about 10 years was very much focused on halacha, learning halacha.

00:01:52.900 --> 00:01:59.311
So I was in many different halacha chaburas throughout my time In the Mir Yeshiva, outside the Mir Yeshiva, starting at Kol, also in Yerushalayim.

00:01:59.311 --> 00:02:03.743
So the primary amount of time was really in many, many halacha chaburas.

00:02:03.743 --> 00:02:18.582
But I spent a lot of time with Gedol HaRabban and Gedol HaPosk and I was very much influenced by Ramat Siodaich, the Rav Ramat Shlomo spent time with Rav Yisrael Gans and some other, rav Ram Kershman, rav Rav Eleichter.

00:02:18.582 --> 00:02:23.129
I was able Baruch Hashem to moshamish many great people and learning with many great people.

00:02:23.129 --> 00:02:26.055
So that was a lot of my time was spent in that area.

00:02:26.900 --> 00:02:30.429
Wow, I know also that you were neighbors with the Folds.

00:02:30.429 --> 00:02:31.711
Big shout out to them.

00:02:31.711 --> 00:02:34.324
Because, my Fold right.

00:02:34.324 --> 00:02:36.592
He's one of the secrets that he can right.

00:02:37.180 --> 00:02:38.766
Very good, very good, yeah, regards.

00:02:40.260 --> 00:02:43.068
So you are a Mechaber, sfarim.

00:02:43.068 --> 00:02:45.233
You author great Jewish literature.

00:02:45.233 --> 00:02:53.533
I've only recently come across your books, when in this making of a mensch and this came to my attention.

00:02:53.533 --> 00:02:58.028
But I would like to ask you to talk about.

00:02:58.028 --> 00:02:59.633
This is not your first book.

00:02:59.633 --> 00:03:01.045
How many books have you authored?

00:03:01.045 --> 00:03:04.229
How did you get into writing Sfarim, and what are they normally about?

00:03:05.699 --> 00:03:07.204
Good question I really.

00:03:07.204 --> 00:03:10.050
The answer is I never intended to write Svarum.

00:03:10.050 --> 00:03:12.983
They just sort of developed organically.

00:03:12.983 --> 00:03:16.831
I'm not sure if I was a good writer or not a good writer.

00:03:16.831 --> 00:03:25.191
When I was younger I liked reading and I enjoy writing, but I never considered myself a particularly focused writer.

00:03:26.516 --> 00:03:27.820
What happened is actually interesting.

00:03:27.820 --> 00:03:29.764
Sort of like any journey.

00:03:29.764 --> 00:03:37.329
This was totally unplanned and unprepared, just like my plan of being an artist yourself for about 10 years was unplanned.

00:03:37.329 --> 00:03:38.572
It was just similar.

00:03:38.572 --> 00:03:43.209
This was not a journey that I sat down to be an author to write books.

00:03:43.209 --> 00:03:45.012
That was out of the picture.

00:03:45.012 --> 00:03:46.582
That was nothing that I ever considered.

00:03:46.703 --> 00:03:53.203
But, as I mentioned before, I always liked organizing, putting things together and writing things up.

00:03:53.203 --> 00:04:01.764
So any of my learning I have notes and a good portion of what I was learning and they were always very organized worked through.

00:04:01.764 --> 00:04:41.050
What happened is that I guess somewhere toward the end of I don't know my tenure in Eretz Yisrael, I started writing a lot of Klal Ehorah and Peskei Halacha, or just organizing how exactly the methodology of Halacha works, the history, understanding how the Bais Yosef worked, whether the Bais Yosef was influenced from going through a lot of the Hagadamas, of the G'doli, rishonim, g'doli, aposkim and sort of, found that I had a very good, pretty decent understanding of how the Rambam, how the Shulchan, aruch, the Tur, the Bais, yosef, the Levosh, the Ramah were trying to organize their codes of Jewish law.

00:04:41.050 --> 00:04:49.033
And as I organized and as I spoke to people I gave shurim, I saw that this was something that was fascinating to people.

00:04:49.052 --> 00:04:53.668
It was fascinating to kolagais who are learning halacha, who really didn't understand exactly how the system worked.

00:04:53.668 --> 00:05:02.083
It was fascinating to rabbanim, to poskim and to really beginners trying to understand and to appreciate how the halachic process works.

00:05:02.083 --> 00:05:19.862
And before I knew it I collected, you know, hundreds and hundreds of pages of usodos in the halachic process and before I knew it it really was something that was prepared to be a safer and I was a young guy, nobody knew me and I tried peddling the work.

00:05:19.862 --> 00:05:21.504
I actually wrote everything.

00:05:21.524 --> 00:05:22.125
How old were you?

00:05:22.125 --> 00:05:23.947
How old were you, how old are you, when this happened?

00:05:24.428 --> 00:05:33.935
I was probably 32, 32 or so, 32 and change, and I really, like I said, I wrote everything by hand.

00:05:33.935 --> 00:05:37.024
I didn't have a, I didn't have a computer, I did not know how to type.

00:05:37.024 --> 00:05:39.331
Everything was written by hand.

00:05:39.331 --> 00:05:41.463
So if I lost it, it's gone.

00:05:41.463 --> 00:05:45.408
Like many swarm were lost over the Doros yeah, that was lost.

00:05:45.408 --> 00:05:46.024
Many, many swms were lost over the Doros.

00:05:46.024 --> 00:05:46.610
The Adi Gubanarade was lost.

00:05:46.610 --> 00:05:48.795
Many Svarms were lost, burnt in fires and like.

00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:57.711
So I held them like they were gold and I had this manuscript of papers and I was peddling it to see if anybody would be interested in publishing it.

00:05:57.711 --> 00:06:01.110
So when I was in the mirror I hired somebody to type all of my work.

00:06:01.110 --> 00:06:04.543
I found somebody to type all my work and it was all organized.

00:06:04.543 --> 00:06:08.889
And you know, like a young guy trying to find somebody to be interested in publishing, this was not so easy.

00:06:08.889 --> 00:06:13.516
So I went to all the classical, well-known publishers and they were totally uninterested.

00:06:13.516 --> 00:06:22.567
They didn't think this was a sale, they want to make money and they didn't think this would be a moneymaker and beyond that, they didn't think the topic was something that was Shabbaleth called.

00:06:22.567 --> 00:06:29.336
They didn't think this was something that would interest women, children and would be comfortable Shabbos afternoon bedtime reading.

00:06:29.336 --> 00:06:42.196
So I get a lot of no's, no after no, after no after no, until one publisher saw that they felt that this could be something of interest, and Baruch Hashem.

00:06:42.216 --> 00:06:49.392
I brokered a deal with a publisher called Menucha and they showed interest in the Sefer and we worked together to put it into book form.

00:06:49.392 --> 00:06:50.742
And baruch Hashem.

00:06:50.742 --> 00:06:52.466
It was extremely successful.

00:06:52.466 --> 00:06:53.571
The first printing sold out.

00:06:53.571 --> 00:07:01.653
We reprinted it again and that sold out, and now I'm very proud that we brought it to Feldheim and now Feldheim just republished it and printed it again.

00:07:01.653 --> 00:07:07.572
So, after a lot of hard work and unpreparedness, that's how the first Safer developed.

00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:11.209
I mean, this is officially a motivation podcast.

00:07:11.209 --> 00:07:15.752
I love that story because of the idea of it.

00:07:15.752 --> 00:07:19.129
Just everything came together and people gave you no's at the beginning.

00:07:19.129 --> 00:07:20.783
That is so.

00:07:20.783 --> 00:07:27.528
It's almost hard to understand now that nobody was interested.

00:07:27.528 --> 00:07:34.951
You know, back then in the first book it was about what problem did you solve by publishing that book?

00:07:34.951 --> 00:07:35.552
What was the goal?

00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:47.990
So certainly the goal was clarifying for people and there is a lot of unclarity there how Pesach works, where did the Shulchan Aruch get his Torah from?

00:07:47.990 --> 00:07:48.682
And there are a lot of.

00:07:48.682 --> 00:07:55.451
If you'll see the Sefer, the Shulchan Aruch himself had an enormous amount of challenges to the Shulchan Aruch.

00:07:55.451 --> 00:08:01.322
Many people, many Gadol Yisrael, felt that the Shulchan Aruch was not a Sefer that should be used Just like the Rambam Sefer.

00:08:01.322 --> 00:08:04.487
People challenged Gadol Yisrael challenged so everybody.

00:08:04.487 --> 00:08:09.454
If you're talking about motivation, g'dol Yisrael were challenged throughout the Doros, including their Sepharim.

00:08:09.454 --> 00:08:13.959
So the Shulchan Aruch was not a Sefer that was in the Scabal right away.

00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:16.346
The Beis Yosef was a Chiddish.

00:08:16.346 --> 00:08:23.603
What the Beis Yosef did, collecting the sheftas of the Rambam, the Rif and the Rambam did this was never the goal.

00:08:23.603 --> 00:08:26.704
In Kala Yisrael, tar Shabal Peh meant Tar Shabal Peh, that it's supposed to be oral law.

00:08:26.704 --> 00:08:28.144
It wasn't meant to be written down.

00:08:28.144 --> 00:08:34.227
Of course, the Mishnah Yisrael and Chazal wrote the Talmud and we organized and put it together because that was a necessity.

00:08:34.227 --> 00:08:42.072
But certainly this was never the intention that there should be an organized canon that everybody should be able to be accessing.

00:08:42.631 --> 00:08:43.712
So why is it?

00:08:43.712 --> 00:08:44.373
What is it?

00:08:44.373 --> 00:08:45.212
How does it work?

00:08:45.212 --> 00:08:47.374
What's the basis of the psach and the mechaber.

00:08:47.374 --> 00:08:51.615
How could the rambam argue on the mechaber and who is the mechaber to decide psach alacha?

00:08:51.615 --> 00:08:54.197
And how could the mechaber often argue on the rambam?

00:08:54.197 --> 00:08:55.618
Does the mechaber argue on the rambam?

00:08:55.618 --> 00:09:05.408
When does the rambam and how does?

00:09:05.609 --> 00:09:13.400
The synergy between this farm and the history of this farm and how exactly that developed is something that we try to do and Baruch Hashem.

00:09:13.400 --> 00:09:40.706
It's something that people who are not involved at all and interested really altogether in halach and Jewish law are able to understand that there is a rhyme and reason, there's a method to the madness, and those who are learning halacha can also appreciate exactly how it is that we organize psak halacha, how Rabbanim are able to work with piskal halacha, how to weigh difference farm, how to understand what's a halacha, what's a minag?

00:09:40.706 --> 00:09:41.748
What's a khurma?

00:09:41.748 --> 00:09:42.688
What's ikra ad-din?

00:09:42.688 --> 00:09:44.892
What does it mean that a baal nefesh is machmir?

00:09:44.892 --> 00:09:46.053
When can you be mekel?

00:09:46.053 --> 00:09:46.914
Should you be mekel?

00:09:46.914 --> 00:09:53.197
And the gamut of different background, the underpinnings of halacha, is something that is very much focused on in the Sefer.

00:09:54.280 --> 00:09:59.211
It takes it from just a yellow book, a phone book of just laws, and it gives it depth.

00:09:59.211 --> 00:10:06.169
So you're the rabbi guy, you're the poisek, you're somebody that's mastered this, but that's not why we called you in today.

00:10:06.169 --> 00:10:18.448
We called you in today because you have written three books, and the first two books that you wrote correctly, if I'm wrong are about halacha and how all that goes down the making of a halachic decision.

00:10:20.201 --> 00:10:23.969
The second one is called the Making of a Minhug, which also fascinates me.

00:10:23.969 --> 00:10:35.833
I don't know how Minhug and company made, but if you're the Halacha guy, how is it and why is it that you came all of a sudden to kind of switch towards a different thing, which is the making of a mensch?

00:10:35.833 --> 00:10:37.155
That's Midas.

00:10:37.155 --> 00:10:38.566
Midas ain't Halacha.

00:10:38.566 --> 00:10:41.986
So how did you come into that?

00:10:42.589 --> 00:10:43.350
That's a great question.

00:10:43.350 --> 00:10:45.072
I appreciate that question.

00:10:45.072 --> 00:10:46.541
It's a very important question.

00:10:46.541 --> 00:10:50.969
The answer actually is exactly the same way.

00:10:51.570 --> 00:11:00.793
And what people don't appreciate enough is that the same way there's halacha for benadum l'makom, there's also halacha for benadum l'chavera.

00:11:00.793 --> 00:11:05.720
And the same rigor and the same lundus and the same lumdis and the same sugyas.

00:11:05.720 --> 00:11:19.303
And the same way that Gedol Ha'aposkim and Gedol Ha'achronim and Rishonim analyze a sugya, whether it's in Hilchot Shabbos, whether it's in Erevim, whether it's in Yivamus or any of the Bava Kamabom Tziya, bava Basra, the same thing is true benadum l'chavera.

00:11:19.303 --> 00:11:34.096
And the goal of the Sefer, the making, the man Shehilchot Ben Adon L'chavero, is really to show that the same analysis, the same Abai and Rava in Bav Mitzia, is also the same Abai and Rava in any sugya in Ben Adon L'chavero.

00:11:34.096 --> 00:11:41.312
You know Shavuos is coming, so you have your five Dibros Ben Adon L'macham and your five Dibros Ben Adon L'chavero.

00:11:41.312 --> 00:11:46.601
They Habero, they're the same thing.

00:11:46.601 --> 00:11:53.745
And very often people have a sense that Ben Adel Machaber is just like for the nice guys and it's not really important, it's not a stress and we're often very hyper-focused on Ben Adel Machaber.

00:11:53.764 --> 00:11:57.471
The out-of-towners, but we should be.

00:11:57.471 --> 00:12:11.779
We should be focused on Ben Adel Machaber and we need to try to develop the same sensitivities and the same approach and understanding for Bein Adon HaKavera as we do for Bein Adon HaMakom.

00:12:11.779 --> 00:12:18.254
And the truth is, if you go back through generations, the challenge is that there's no sif and simet for Bein Adon HaKavera.

00:12:18.254 --> 00:12:37.630
If you go through Daal Chalkei, shoch, narech, so you could find very clear places where the halacha exists, whether it's Gittin and Kiddushin, it's in Eben Hezer, whether you're looking in Chalash HaMishpat for all forms of interpersonal areas of halacha, but there's no specific place to look for the halachas, ben and l'chare.

00:12:37.630 --> 00:12:39.928
So there were G'dolei HaKoram who authored such a sharam.

00:12:39.928 --> 00:12:41.381
There's a sefer called Amitzus HaLevavos.

00:12:41.381 --> 00:12:44.167
He was a Rav who lived in the vicinity of Briskim.

00:12:44.167 --> 00:12:45.328
Chaim Briskim gave him a skam.

00:12:45.328 --> 00:12:48.413
There's a Sefer called Shulchmerach Lamidos Orach Meisharem.

00:12:52.299 --> 00:12:55.979
So Gedoli HaPolskim did write Sfarim on B'nai Adam L'Chaveri because there was the understanding that this is an area that needs chizuk.

00:12:55.979 --> 00:12:58.428
That's an area that needs focus and attention.

00:12:58.428 --> 00:13:14.023
People need to understand much better that the same analysis and halacha and lundus also exists in the area of ben adam l'chavero, and the same way we analyze any sugi and shas, that also is true when it comes to ben adam l'chavero.

00:13:14.023 --> 00:13:33.850
So one of the goals of the sermon is to show people that any question, any issue ben adam l'chavero needs to be analyzed, needs to be focused on, needs to shayla's, needs to be asked, and that's really what the Sefer comes to do, the same way that there's a very, very clear approach and focus and stress in Bein Adon Mamakom.

00:13:33.850 --> 00:13:46.035
If you're learning Hilchot Shabbos, if you're learning, like I said, hilchot Erivin or anything that you're learning, the post can also address these areas of Halacha identically and we just need to know how to learn them.

00:13:46.022 --> 00:13:49.272
I don't necessarily find that halacha applies to loving thy neighbor as thyself.

00:13:49.272 --> 00:13:56.629
How is it possible to codify, give exact parameters of loving your neighbor as thyself?

00:13:58.681 --> 00:14:01.085
So you're going to have to read the chapter in the book about that.

00:14:01.085 --> 00:14:04.349
But the mitzvah of Avos Reim.

00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:04.942
I did.

00:14:04.942 --> 00:14:06.668
I found there's a right.

00:14:06.668 --> 00:14:07.620
Is there a makhlokas?

00:14:07.620 --> 00:14:12.090
Rambam and rambam, yeah, yeah the major, major makhlokas.

00:14:12.110 --> 00:14:16.966
We showed him how to learn the push-up shot in the pasuk famous ramban.

00:14:16.966 --> 00:14:21.924
And there's a sheet to the rambam, there's a smag, there's a smack and all the monia mitzvah.

00:14:21.924 --> 00:14:24.672
Try to understand what the getter of that mitzvah is.

00:14:24.672 --> 00:14:28.644
What does it mean to love somebody?

00:14:28.644 --> 00:14:29.846
How do you fulfill that?

00:14:29.846 --> 00:14:30.886
What are you supposed to do?

00:14:30.886 --> 00:14:33.110
So the Rambam enumerates a way to do that.

00:14:33.110 --> 00:14:34.734
The Ramban enumerates a way to do that.

00:14:34.734 --> 00:14:50.782
But the same way that we try to uncover pshat in Bor and in Shein and in Regel, you also have to understand how am I able to fulfill a mitzvah, diareisa of Haftorei HaKamacha, the mitzvah of Aser Haim.

00:14:50.782 --> 00:15:11.631
So the posk addressed that, the Rishonim addressed that, the Monimitzvahs addressed that, the Akhronim addressed that there's a marasha, there's gemaras about this, there's five or six gemaras in Shas where the Pasuk of Haftal Rech has brought and you have to understand those gemaras, learn those gemaras and understand what the Chazal are teaching us about the Mitzvah Haftal Rech HaKamocha.

00:15:11.631 --> 00:15:22.394
Hillel of course, told the Ger who wanted to convert whatever is hateful to you, you yourself should not do to others.

00:15:22.394 --> 00:15:31.149
So Hillel understood that that was the most critical thing that any convert needs to know before coming is the mitzvah after Echad Kamorcha.

00:15:31.149 --> 00:15:34.750
So certainly we need to understand how to fill that.

00:15:34.750 --> 00:15:45.613
You're talking now in the time of Sefer HaOmer and the importance of as an am and as a nation and as a people.

00:15:45.613 --> 00:16:01.447
So the mitzvah after Echad Kamocha is a critical mitzvah Now if you want to know how to fulfill it, so it doesn't just mean say I love you, you have to know how to fulfill that mitzvah.

00:16:01.447 --> 00:16:02.888
What is that mitzvah?

00:16:02.888 --> 00:16:18.923
The Rambam, the Numereitz, the Levayas, the Hameis are all b'ch looking out for somebody, escorting somebody out of your house, calling somebody, texting somebody, showing interest in somebody, feeling for somebody, listening to somebody, talking to a person.

00:16:18.923 --> 00:16:19.865
All of those are.

00:16:19.865 --> 00:16:25.470
So yes, we need to know that that's a, but we also have to know how to apply that.

00:16:25.470 --> 00:16:27.265
And is it a mitzvah of the Risa?

00:16:27.265 --> 00:16:28.129
Is it a mitzvah of the Rabbana?

00:16:28.129 --> 00:16:29.274
When is it a mitzvah of the Risa?

00:16:29.274 --> 00:16:30.320
When is it a mitzvah of the Rabbana?

00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:35.702
You know I'll tell you something which might interest you and your listeners.

00:16:35.702 --> 00:17:05.117
You know, I would say the majority of my day, maybe week or month, as a rabbi is probably spent dealing with people and people's problems and adversity family feuds, neighbors fighting differences between parents and children, parents not talking to kids, kids not talking to parents.

00:17:05.117 --> 00:17:17.232
There are so many makhloksem, whether it's community makhloksem, whether it's family makhloksem, whether it's differences of opinion, people not talking to each other.

00:17:17.232 --> 00:17:37.729
It's clear that what lies at the heart and a big focus of what we're seeing and what I'm dealing with is all in the world of Ben Adon HaHavira and therefore there's no question that there needs to be a focus on how to treat others and how to care for others, and everybody has the right attitude.

00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:42.151
You know, when I said in the Dintara, there are two sides.

00:17:42.151 --> 00:17:43.705
There are always two sides.

00:17:43.705 --> 00:17:48.122
How clear is it ever that A is right and B is wrong?

00:17:48.122 --> 00:17:53.701
I can tell you from significant experience sitting on Dinai Torah the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

00:17:53.701 --> 00:18:01.702
It's rare, if ever, that it's so obvious that one person is 100% correct and the other person is not.

00:18:01.702 --> 00:18:09.548
So we're people, people are people, life is life, and we bump heads and we have issues with each other.

00:18:09.548 --> 00:18:18.944
Whether you're in yeshiva, in the base medrash, whether you're in a office setting, whether you're in a family setting, wherever you are, people express feelings, emotions.

00:18:18.944 --> 00:18:20.269
I shouldn't have said what I said.

00:18:20.269 --> 00:18:23.844
Maybe I should have said something instead of keeping quiet.

00:18:23.844 --> 00:18:28.747
Maybe I should have been more careful about doing something that I didn't do.

00:18:28.747 --> 00:18:30.190
Maybe I shouldn't have done that.

00:18:30.190 --> 00:18:33.946
There are so many interactions that we have throughout the course of the day.

00:18:33.946 --> 00:18:37.806
It's unbelievable how many times that I insult somebody.

00:18:37.806 --> 00:18:40.362
I didn't even realize I insulted somebody, or I could have helped somebody.

00:18:40.362 --> 00:18:41.424
I never helped somebody.

00:18:41.424 --> 00:18:51.991
So I think one of the ways where we could sort of strengthen ourselves is by recognizing that the Torah speaks to each and every single case.

00:18:52.553 --> 00:18:54.826
You know if you want to follow halacha so there's a code.

00:18:54.826 --> 00:18:55.647
We know how to do that.

00:18:55.647 --> 00:19:00.288
You want to learn Mishnah Baruch, ha'a Harach, hasholchim Chai, adam Kitzel, sholchimach, the gamut of Sfarim.

00:19:00.288 --> 00:19:03.453
So those make us better halachic Jews.

00:19:03.453 --> 00:19:05.117
Those make us better people.

00:19:05.117 --> 00:19:12.207
Because we're following halakh, we're doing what it is that HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants and we're very focused on making sure that we keep every prat ben Adol Macham.

00:19:12.207 --> 00:19:16.884
We don't want to make mistakes and we're very cautious and careful with every area of halakh.

00:19:16.884 --> 00:19:45.292
So the way that we could become better Jews and care for each other more and better neighbors, better friends, better family members, better spouse is if we understand what the halacha expects of us and, very often, if we're able to be in these areas sensitive in these areas, the same way that we're careful and cautious and meticulous in all areas of halacha or a chayim, your edaya heaven ezer.

00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.469
You know how many questions do I get in kashrus?

00:19:48.469 --> 00:19:51.890
How many questions do I receive in or a chayim?

00:19:51.890 --> 00:19:53.944
It's constant.

00:19:53.944 --> 00:19:57.981
Everybody's asking shaylas, ben adam l'macham, everybody.

00:19:57.981 --> 00:20:03.510
I could ask you how many questions do you think I get a week ben adam l'machavar?

00:20:03.510 --> 00:20:06.211
How many questions do you think I get a week Ben Adon Machaver?

00:20:06.211 --> 00:20:07.960
How many questions do you think Rabbanim are receiving, ben Adon Machaver?

00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:10.909
So maybe around the Asar, simei Chuvah, there more.

00:20:10.909 --> 00:20:12.846
Should I forgive this person?

00:20:12.846 --> 00:20:14.304
Wanted this person.

00:20:14.304 --> 00:20:21.310
Forgive me, do I have to go out of my way, but there's no question that there's not enough of a focus in this area.

00:20:22.080 --> 00:20:23.226
What role does it play?

00:20:23.226 --> 00:20:26.242
I apologize for interrupting, but I'm struggling to understand.

00:20:26.242 --> 00:20:29.133
Let's say I improve myself, I get better in my mitos.

00:20:29.133 --> 00:20:32.963
I don't believe it's a mitzvah to have good mitos.

00:20:32.963 --> 00:20:36.892
Let me have a poor conduct, poor ethics.

00:20:36.892 --> 00:20:40.945
Maybe my father will ask me to leave the table because I don't have the proper etiquette.

00:20:40.945 --> 00:20:44.271
But is it a mitzvah to have good mitos?

00:20:44.271 --> 00:20:45.693
What role does that play?

00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:48.923
So Reb Chaim Vital asks your question.

00:20:48.923 --> 00:20:55.086
Reb Chaim Vital, the outstanding disciple, the Tal Mufak of the Arizal, asked this question, let's say for Shari Kedusha.

00:20:55.086 --> 00:21:02.487
He asked this question why doesn't the Torah tell us, why doesn't the Torah give us a mitzvah, that every person, every human being, should have good midos?

00:21:02.487 --> 00:21:03.628
That's his shahadah.

00:21:03.628 --> 00:21:04.451
That's a good question.

00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:06.785
That's a really good question.

00:21:08.641 --> 00:21:09.605
Take a look in the shahadah.

00:21:09.605 --> 00:21:10.387
She asked this question.

00:21:10.387 --> 00:21:13.548
Chayim Tal's answer is that it's a prerequisite.

00:21:13.548 --> 00:21:16.388
You can't limit it to a mitzvah.

00:21:16.388 --> 00:21:24.020
It's a prerequisite to Kabbalah Satorah is being a person who is a Baal, midos Tavos.

00:21:24.020 --> 00:21:30.744
You can't start, you can't get off the ground, you can't begin the process of a Seres HaDibros, of a Kabbalah's Torah.

00:21:31.125 --> 00:21:34.067
Ki Yishach HaBalei V'Echar is a prerequisite to Kabbalah's Torah.

00:21:34.067 --> 00:21:46.693
We need to be people who are giving, who are caring, who are sensitive, who are understanding, who are kind and considerate, and if you're not having those qualities and characteristic traits, the Torah doesn't even speak to you.

00:21:46.693 --> 00:22:02.566
The Gra, says the brother of the Gra, rabab Ram, the Ach HaGra and a say from Alasotar writes that just like grass grows because of rain, weeds also grow because of rain and you can have very tall weeds.

00:22:02.566 --> 00:22:03.430
It says the same thing is true with Torah.

00:22:03.430 --> 00:22:07.243
If a person doesn't work on their midos, the Torah that they're learning is just growing weeds.

00:22:07.243 --> 00:22:10.991
The Torah grows, builds a person, but it depends.

00:22:10.991 --> 00:22:17.501
If you have splendid midos and if you have a refined character, then the grass will go and be lush and it'll be green.

00:22:17.501 --> 00:22:21.739
But if you don't refine those traits, then you're not building anything.

00:22:21.739 --> 00:22:24.085
You're just growing weeds as opposed to grass.

00:22:24.085 --> 00:22:28.334
So yes, it's a prerequisite, it's mandatory, it's a must.

00:22:28.334 --> 00:22:33.445
Not everything is writ large in Chazal and not everything is explicit.

00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:35.244
The Rambam, by the way, answers your question.

00:22:35.244 --> 00:22:36.007
The Rambam says yeah, it's all.

00:22:36.007 --> 00:22:43.148
Bechalav Eraf, torech and Kamach Midos are all Bechalav Tachas, the, according to the Rambam, that it's a mitzvah sasei.

00:22:43.148 --> 00:22:53.880
There's all forms of middos, tovos, of interpersonal behaviors, of interpersonal relationships, and mitzvahs ben al-lechar, all fall tachas under the mitzvah of the after-echad kamocha.

00:22:53.880 --> 00:22:59.670
But yes, it is a must, it's a guarantee, it's mandatory and we could talk about it.

00:22:59.670 --> 00:23:03.828
You see from G'dol Israel that there was such a focus on these areas.

00:23:03.828 --> 00:23:07.307
What do we say before Yom Kippur?

00:23:07.307 --> 00:23:13.022
You can't receive tshuva, ben Adon L'machon, if a person didn't rectify their relationships.

00:23:13.022 --> 00:23:16.483
Ben Adon L'machon, there's no tshuva.

00:23:16.483 --> 00:23:17.487
There's no tshuva.

00:23:17.487 --> 00:23:23.584
You can't ask a Kaddish, baruch Hu, for tshuva on Yom Kippur, for any avera ben b'rad l'chaveh, if you don't take care of that between your friends.

00:23:23.584 --> 00:23:24.785
It doesn't work like that.

00:23:24.785 --> 00:23:29.788
So there are two channels and there are two highways that have to be driven and they should be working together.

00:23:30.630 --> 00:23:34.452
Right, right, wow, so correct me if I'm wrong.

00:23:34.452 --> 00:23:40.676
I recall that there's also a villain who writes in Mishle that there's no point of life if we're not working on our mitos.

00:23:46.460 --> 00:23:46.659
Does that ring a bell?

00:23:46.659 --> 00:24:05.205
I don't know if it's specifically a Mishle, but many Gadol Yisrael have made such comments that they say, from Yisrael Salanter, it's easier to go through Shas than to have Shas go through you, meaning many people can get through Shas, but to allow Shas to affect you, to penetrate you, to change you, that's a much more difficult task.

00:24:05.205 --> 00:24:09.376
So therefore, yeah, we need to focus on it, just like we focus on all areas.

00:24:10.941 --> 00:24:31.932
So in this book titled the Making of a Mench that you authored, it is a very unique Sefer because it does exactly this, where it shows us, of course, now we know that we need to have good midos and be a mench, but now it shows that there are also halachos of how to be a mench and how to have good midos.

00:24:31.932 --> 00:24:39.393
The first thing that actually comes out from the Sefer is I love the layout, like the fact that it's just, it's easy read.

00:24:39.393 --> 00:24:39.814
I'm not.

00:24:39.814 --> 00:24:46.493
I don't have the longest attention span, so there's questions, the answers, the sources and then the conclusion.

00:24:46.493 --> 00:24:48.305
I love that about it.

00:24:48.305 --> 00:24:58.451
The introduction that you create all the intrigue and prove why people need to work on their midos, and I must mention the bibliography is also, uh, is great, uh, that is one of the best.

00:24:58.451 --> 00:25:01.766
Just the way that you tell us who these rabbis are that you're?

00:25:01.786 --> 00:25:02.107
quoting.

00:25:02.107 --> 00:25:06.321
It feels like there's a chunk of your making, of a halacha coming through.

00:25:06.321 --> 00:25:07.683
Um.

00:25:07.683 --> 00:25:10.508
So now I want to talk some blitz questions.

00:25:10.508 --> 00:25:16.662
I want to get into the nitty grgritty, figure out a couple examples where my brain says let's be a mensch.

00:25:16.662 --> 00:25:34.585
But now there are halachas and there are guidelines and I'm going to come at you perhaps with a couple different scenarios as to what would be halachically mandated by the torah in these unique situations, if that would be okay, please.

00:25:34.585 --> 00:25:39.529
So let's talk about one of the first mitzvot that we find.

00:25:39.529 --> 00:25:41.592
God came to visit Abraham.

00:25:41.592 --> 00:25:44.255
God came to check up on the sick.

00:25:44.255 --> 00:25:45.836
We have a sick person.

00:25:45.836 --> 00:25:51.522
I believe the mitzvah is called Bikr Cholim.

00:25:51.522 --> 00:25:52.784
I believe it's a Mishnah, even it's stated.

00:25:52.784 --> 00:25:53.944
We say it perhaps daily.

00:25:53.944 --> 00:25:59.310
So the question that you address in this book my friend is sick.

00:25:59.310 --> 00:26:03.576
God forbid, no one should know of it, but he has a contagious disease.

00:26:03.576 --> 00:26:13.489
Does the Almighty want me to walk in and be Mevachir Chola and check up on him, even though one slight cough and I may contract his contagious disease?

00:26:15.540 --> 00:26:17.673
Yeah, this is a very prevalent question.

00:26:17.673 --> 00:26:26.903
It's not an academic question, this is a very real question and, of course, this is a balance between fulfilling a mitzvah, a very important mitzvah, a mitzvah dirayisah.

00:26:26.903 --> 00:26:33.044
Like you said, and according to many posts, and certainly according to the Rambam, it's part of the mitzvah of Ahav Talarei, hakamohacha.

00:26:33.044 --> 00:26:34.105
We say it in the Mishnah, in Peah.

00:26:34.105 --> 00:26:51.303
So Bikr Cholim is an extraordinary mitzvah, and the Gemara's Masechas in the Darm tell us great stories from G'dolei Tanoim HaMorayim, who fulfilled this mitzvah, and, as you pointed out, avraham Avinu himself was Mavak Yercholim.

00:26:51.303 --> 00:26:57.209
The Gemara teaches us in the first paragraph of Masecha Sota, that we are supposed to imitate HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

00:26:57.209 --> 00:26:58.910
Hakadosh Baruch Hu was Mevach Yercholim.

00:26:58.910 --> 00:27:00.811
Hakadosh Baruch Hu visited Avram.

00:27:00.811 --> 00:27:03.193
So, too, we also have to be Mevach Yercholim.

00:27:03.233 --> 00:27:06.576
But what do you do in a situation where it could impact you negatively?

00:27:06.576 --> 00:27:09.343
It could affect you.

00:27:09.343 --> 00:27:09.983
So we do have a klal.

00:27:09.983 --> 00:27:13.248
I have to care about my life before somebody else's.

00:27:13.248 --> 00:27:23.511
If I'm safe and I'm okay, I don't necessarily have to put myself into harm's way to take care of somebody else, which in and of itself is a very important question which I also address in the Safer.

00:27:23.511 --> 00:27:25.326
How far does a person have to go?

00:27:25.326 --> 00:27:28.650
Do I have to put myself in danger to help somebody else?

00:27:28.650 --> 00:27:30.185
Is that required?

00:27:30.185 --> 00:27:32.460
Is that something that the Torah mandates?

00:27:32.460 --> 00:27:33.563
That's a separate chapter.

00:27:33.563 --> 00:27:35.971
That's discussed in many, many different facets.

00:27:35.971 --> 00:27:45.751
But in this context, many poskim, most poskim, and it seems to be pretty clear I don't have to visit somebody if they are sick, and they will get me sick.

00:27:45.751 --> 00:27:50.592
I don't have to put myself in harm's way or in danger in order to visit somebody to be mevakechol.

00:27:50.592 --> 00:27:51.924
That's not necessary.

00:27:51.924 --> 00:27:53.326
That's not required.

00:27:55.140 --> 00:28:00.726
It is important to note that there are other ways to potentially fulfill the mitzvah b'ikacholim, and this the Gedolai Apostle can talk about, or Moshe has a tshuv about it.

00:28:00.726 --> 00:28:18.693
Whether you can fulfill the mitzvah b'ikacholim over the phone or with a letter or today, even through Zoom or seeing somebody without actually contracting the contagious disease, and you might be able to fulfill that mitzvah, whether or not you're actually fulfilling the mitzvah directly, the same way, arguably, you are.

00:28:18.693 --> 00:28:25.827
The Ramban actually writes the reason to actually visit the sick person is to see them and when you see them you'll feel their pain.

00:28:25.827 --> 00:28:31.128
And if you feel the pain when you see them, then you'll be able to daven for them more effectively.

00:28:31.128 --> 00:28:42.230
So a card, a letter, a phone call might not do that, because you don't see them, you don't feel them, you don't see their sorrow, their pain, their suffering, their loneliness, their anguish, their physical, emotional and spiritual pain.

00:28:42.230 --> 00:28:49.804
But maybe, if it's a phone call, if it's a WhatsApp, if it's a Zoom, and you see them, so you could certainly make an argument that could fulfill the mitzvah.

00:28:49.804 --> 00:28:57.434
That way, there's no question, being there live is critical and is important, but, me'ikr hadin, one is not required to do so.

00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:03.385
The one caveat and this is very important, this comes up a lot if any of your listeners are doctors and nurses.

00:29:03.445 --> 00:29:21.229
So the post-chimera, tetsaliazer, mavadja, others that yes, if you are a healthcare professional, if you're a medical practitioner, so part of your job is to take that level of risk practitioner, so part of your job is to take that level of risk, and that means that it's your responsibility potentially to put yourself in danger.

00:29:21.609 --> 00:29:29.902
We're talking about ambulances, we're talking about paramedics, we're talking about first responders, we're talking about doctors, we're talking about nurses.

00:29:29.902 --> 00:29:39.336
All of these individuals have set up themselves for a career in a line of work that has a significant level of danger.

00:29:39.336 --> 00:29:43.371
So once they've signed up for that, they can't just walk away.

00:29:43.371 --> 00:29:46.368
And if there's somebody who is contagious to some of these dangers.

00:29:46.368 --> 00:30:09.785
So today we have ways that medical practitioners and professionals able to take care of themselves and protect themselves as best we can, but they might not have the head there that a lay person has and say you know what, I'll find a different way, because if you're not going to care for the person, if you're not going to take care of the person, who's going to administer the drugs, who's going to administer all of the necessary requirements in order to get that person back to health?

00:30:09.785 --> 00:30:14.890
So there is a hillock between medical practitioners and professionals and the average person.

00:30:15.971 --> 00:30:17.332
That is fascinating.

00:30:17.332 --> 00:30:21.656
I love that there's clear guidelines as to what to do.

00:30:21.656 --> 00:30:34.224
It brings a certain amount of menucha the difference between a text and a FaceTime and the difference between what your profession is if you're in health care.

00:30:34.224 --> 00:30:38.411
Another question I have perhaps now is the right time to ask it and you're the right person for the question to be posed to.

00:30:38.411 --> 00:30:51.762
It's a pet peeve of mine and I think it's a misplaced pet peeve of mine because of some maybe lack of understanding of something.

00:30:51.782 --> 00:30:53.664
But I'm praying psuchedism or I'm wrapped in my talisman and I'm praying Pesuket HaZimra.

00:30:53.664 --> 00:31:03.675
I'm wrapped in my talis and tefillin and I'm consistently being bombarded by the holy collectors that are searching for some help with their own cause or maybe collecting for another cause.

00:31:03.675 --> 00:31:15.185
I'm familiar that there's two losa ases to close your hand and close your heart in tzedakah, that we have to make sure to give tzedakah, and I'm assuming there's a positive mitzvah also to give tzedakah.

00:31:15.185 --> 00:31:17.911
I mean you should always do justice and righteousness.

00:31:17.911 --> 00:31:19.173
Uh, they have to learn.

00:31:19.173 --> 00:31:21.463
Also, how do I proceed?

00:31:21.463 --> 00:31:22.606
What's the right outlook?

00:31:22.606 --> 00:31:25.173
Halachically speaking, what does a mensch do?

00:31:25.173 --> 00:31:28.567
Do I stop my davening every sentence and give another dollar?

00:31:28.567 --> 00:31:29.951
Do I even need to give them?

00:31:29.951 --> 00:31:34.606
Do I need to give my family first or, god forbid, give somebody else something that needs something needs something.

00:31:34.606 --> 00:31:38.654
How does a mensch go about this kind of interesting scenario?

00:31:39.420 --> 00:31:45.131
Yeah, it's an important question and certainly tzadka is one of the ways that make us the people that we are.

00:31:45.131 --> 00:31:50.990
We're an extremely philanthropic people and the amount of tzadka that Kalei so distributes is enormous.

00:31:50.990 --> 00:31:52.787
Our response time is unbelievable.

00:31:52.787 --> 00:32:08.221
But there are a lot of people asking and I think we all know that, whether it's solicitations by mail, by email, by WhatsApp, by phone, in person, there's no end to the needs that exist and very often they're very worthy needs and very serious needs.

00:32:08.221 --> 00:32:17.102
How and when does a person have to respond is a very, very complicated question and it's a very difficult question.

00:32:17.102 --> 00:32:23.066
You know, although, as you pointed out, there are answers and there are clear answers, you know there's still doubt in many things that we do.

00:32:23.066 --> 00:32:24.990
So, yes, there is a laugh.

00:32:24.990 --> 00:32:28.087
Torah tells us that you can't look the other way.

00:32:28.087 --> 00:32:32.064
You're prohibited if somebody's asking you for money to look the other way.

00:32:32.064 --> 00:32:36.000
So, in your particular context, in shuls and davening and the like.

00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:40.717
So the truth is there are different ways that even shuls go about it.

00:32:40.717 --> 00:32:45.769
I know of shuls that they don't allow somebody to collect during chazar soshats.

00:32:45.769 --> 00:32:51.190
They might not allow somebody to collect during psuket dezimra and they will say you need to wait till after davening.

00:32:51.190 --> 00:32:53.584
There is an approach, there is something to that.

00:32:53.584 --> 00:33:07.625
We do see that we have seen historically in Qalisaw that there were times when an appeal was made during davening, maybe by Kriyasatar, before Kriyasatar, at a time when there was muttah to be mafsik, and there are times that that's done immediately after davening.

00:33:07.625 --> 00:33:20.548
So if there's a minigamakom, if there is an established shul custom where an ani is permitted or prohibited to ask, then the answer is much better and certainly that is the best thing to do.

00:33:20.548 --> 00:33:36.724
If shuls bat-de-medrash you know bat-de-knesses could set up established times in ways that a staka collector, shliach and mishulach is able to ask that makes life much easier is able to ask, that makes life much easier.

00:33:36.744 --> 00:33:42.885
If you're in Shemoneser and you keep on having somebody tap you, or during Psuket Dezimra you keep on hearing clunking of money and there is a level of disturbance.

00:33:42.885 --> 00:33:44.869
But at the same time people need.

00:33:44.869 --> 00:33:46.922
I've seen people do interesting things.

00:33:46.922 --> 00:33:52.963
There are people who leave money out and a collector knows that I could take that money.

00:33:52.963 --> 00:33:55.200
There are people who will respond.

00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:00.113
So I think a lot of it is very much dependent upon the person, upon your kavana.

00:34:00.279 --> 00:34:01.561
But you always have to balance.

00:34:01.561 --> 00:34:08.375
You know, really, are you just so focused on your davening that you don't even able to see somebody else.

00:34:08.375 --> 00:34:10.789
There's an unbelievable maiza with a balatanya.

00:34:10.789 --> 00:34:18.114
The balatanya had a son or a grandson who the baby was crying in another room.

00:34:18.114 --> 00:34:32.385
Baby was crying and nobody was paying attention and there was an element of chassidus and tzidkus that nobody was able to pay attention to a baby crying because there was such focus on one's learning and one's asmada.

00:34:32.385 --> 00:34:34.768
And Bala Tanya said that's a mistake.

00:34:34.768 --> 00:34:40.288
If you don't realize that there's a baby crying when you're learning, you're missing the whole point of your Talmud Torah.

00:34:40.288 --> 00:34:47.351
So there needs to be that balance in their honesty when there are people asking you for something right.

00:34:47.420 --> 00:34:54.184
We know the Nitziv actually writes when you were discussing the Mitzvah B'nai Adum L'chavero of B'Ker Cholem, the the mitzvah ben adam lechavero of Bikr Cholem.

00:34:54.184 --> 00:34:59.809
The netziv says when HaKadosh Baruch Hu came to visit Avraham Avinu when he was sick, he wasn't feeling.

00:34:59.809 --> 00:35:06.715
This is God visiting Avraham Avinu when he was in a situation of tremendous pain.

00:35:06.715 --> 00:35:08.396
Hakadosh Baruch Hu himself came to visit him.

00:35:08.396 --> 00:35:09.217
Could you imagine that?

00:35:09.217 --> 00:35:14.463
And all of a sudden, avraham Avinu sees three people.

00:35:14.463 --> 00:35:16.550
They weren't tzaddikim, they weren't angels, they were malachim.

00:35:16.550 --> 00:35:17.784
But they didn't look like that.

00:35:17.784 --> 00:35:20.027
They looked like vagabonds, like waywards.

00:35:20.027 --> 00:35:22.509
They were Arabs who were walking without shoes.

00:35:23.219 --> 00:35:30.010
Avraham Avinu tells HaKadosh Baruch Hu Adonai imna matzah sichein beinecha, wait a minute, hakadosh Baruch Hu, I need to talk to these other people.

00:35:30.010 --> 00:35:31.251
Unbelievable.

00:35:31.251 --> 00:35:46.697
That means Avraham Avinu stopped what he was doing, his dveikus with the Kaddish Baruch Hu, his ispoidedus with the Kaddish Baruch Hu, in order to take care of the Anir, in order to take care of people who needed to be housed in order, people that needed hospitality, people that needed it's a pillar.

00:35:46.697 --> 00:35:48.768
He put Hashem on hold.

00:35:48.768 --> 00:35:49.981
So there you have it.

00:35:49.981 --> 00:35:50.443
That's the Nitz.

00:35:50.463 --> 00:35:51.184
That's what the Netzev writes.

00:35:51.184 --> 00:35:57.302
The Netzev explains in HaMikdavah, right on that Pasuk, that there are times when you put that aside, b'lyashiv Paskins.

00:35:57.302 --> 00:36:16.322
It's quoted in the Sefer Tfilik Hilchasa that if a person has Orchim guests at his house that are just coming and you need to set them up and give them what they need there's a tour of Tfilik B'tzibor how could you run out on them?

00:36:16.322 --> 00:36:16.543
Leave them.

00:36:16.543 --> 00:36:17.065
That's the netziv mamash.

00:36:17.065 --> 00:36:29.826
So B'yashiv says if you're in such a situation where you're tending to the needs of your orchem, your guests, and you're just going to leave them stranded and invite them into your house and allow their baggage and belongings to stay and to sit and you don't set them up and put them where they need to go or, you know, give them what they need to eat.

00:36:30.347 --> 00:36:32.128
That's a bit of the mitzvah of Ahasuerus.

00:36:32.128 --> 00:36:36.795
So the riot that is this mitzvah and Avraham Avinu's behavior.

00:36:36.795 --> 00:36:38.567
So the same thing is true when it comes to tzadzak.

00:36:38.567 --> 00:36:41.009
A person has to be very honest, very honest.

00:36:41.009 --> 00:36:44.527
There are times where hefzik is mutter, mipnei ha-kavod, mipnei ha-yira.

00:36:44.527 --> 00:36:46.487
So a person has to know this is a mitzvah.

00:36:46.487 --> 00:37:01.208
It's a separate question which is addressed also in the Sefer.

00:37:01.208 --> 00:37:03.173
But you have to be able and this is the Mechaberites, the Rambamites.

00:37:03.193 --> 00:37:12.469
Part of the mitzvah of Nesina Staka is not just the money, it's not just writing the check, but it's b'sever panam yafos, it's giving the person the time of the day, it's giving the person their deserved honor.

00:37:12.469 --> 00:37:14.351
This is tzelam alokim that we're dealing with.

00:37:14.351 --> 00:37:23.429
And if you just look the other way and point and growl and don't act, bederach kavod, you're not fulfilling the mitzvah of tzedakah behidur.

00:37:23.429 --> 00:37:24.565
And the Rambam writes that explicitly.

00:37:24.565 --> 00:37:26.226
It's pasken sholchan archel tzedakah.

00:37:26.226 --> 00:37:37.490
Part of the mitzvah is not just, as I described, the check, the swipe of the credit card, but it's saying I understand, I get it, I feel your pain, I'm connecting to you.

00:37:38.032 --> 00:37:43.907
Yes, the tzedakah is the mitzvah but there's another element to the mitzvah as well.

00:37:43.907 --> 00:37:45.130
I'm bringing it to mind now.

00:37:45.130 --> 00:37:58.646
In your book you brought an incredible story about a man who was attacked, with people constantly trying to raise money and asking for money, and he went to visit the Chavetz Chaim and he heard the Chavetz Chaim talking about ach tov v'chesed yir defuni.

00:37:58.646 --> 00:38:02.710
That to be pursued by kindness is, so to speak, in perspective.

00:38:02.710 --> 00:38:07.175
It's better to be pursued by kindness than to be pursued by, god forbid, who knows what else.

00:38:07.175 --> 00:38:17.362
Absolutely Something in the book kind of, if I may say, just it was a game changer.

00:38:17.382 --> 00:38:30.940
It it took me a little bit and it bothered me a little bit that the I don't actually like all that much having guests um friday night because of the fact that, well, I want to buy myself a nice bottle of wines but I have to buy two.

00:38:30.940 --> 00:38:32.382
It's like awkward only to buy one.

00:38:32.382 --> 00:38:41.563
So then I gotta share, but I can't necessarily my cold check's not gonna get two fancy bottles of cabernet and then, and then also like I don't get to see my kids that much.

00:38:41.563 --> 00:38:50.510
I'm always at yeshiva, I just want to hang out with my family, but I go out of my way like every, you know, come time to time and and invite.

00:38:50.510 --> 00:38:52.054
I invite guests from down the block.

00:38:52.054 --> 00:38:53.923
I'll invite friends, family.

00:38:53.923 --> 00:38:57.831
In the book you make some unique guidelines.

00:38:57.831 --> 00:39:05.592
You pointed out in the post-kim that perhaps having my next-door neighbor over for a suda may not be a fulfillment of ha-knesses orfim.

00:39:05.592 --> 00:39:06.173
Is that true?

00:39:07.340 --> 00:39:12.012
Yeah, the post-kim talks about what exactly the parameters of the mitzvah are.

00:39:12.012 --> 00:39:23.561
So if you're having people that are independently taken care of, that have a house, that are able to fend for themselves, is that really the mitzvah of Hachnas HaSorachim?

00:39:23.561 --> 00:39:30.085
So if you're just getting together with people who you know because you enjoy that and they enjoy that, there's a strong argument to make.

00:39:30.085 --> 00:39:31.668
There's Ma'aral's brother in the Sefer.

00:39:31.668 --> 00:39:39.367
Hachayim seems to indicate that HaKhanas HaSorachim means that you're going out of your way, looking for somebody that absolutely needs the invitation.

00:39:39.367 --> 00:39:48.586
Maybe, according to the Ramah, it could be even inviting somebody, dafka, who's out of town, and finding somebody who needs the HaKhanas HaSorachim.

00:39:48.586 --> 00:39:49.871
Somebody doesn't need it.

00:39:49.871 --> 00:39:51.833
So maybe that's not HaKhan chanas asorachim.

00:39:51.833 --> 00:39:54.976
It could be somebody's in a tough spot, in a difficult situation.

00:39:54.976 --> 00:40:00.543
Maybe the finances are tight, maybe somebody had a bad week, somebody needs the chizuk.

00:40:00.543 --> 00:40:05.000
So yeah, of course, maybe just having friends over is also b'chal ha'av, ha'av terech k'moch.

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:16.773
Maybe you're not fulfilling the mitzvah of a chanas asorachim, but there's no question that when we're inviting people, that it's easy and that I don't have to think twice about.

00:40:16.773 --> 00:40:20.317
So that might not be an absolute fulfillment of the myths.

00:40:20.317 --> 00:40:26.389
It's much easier to have those who you know friends and family and those who you're comfortable with than those you're not comfortable with.

00:40:26.389 --> 00:40:31.969
The people who need it are the people who are alone Almanos Yusomim singles.

00:40:31.969 --> 00:40:42.088
Those are people who will benefit much more and the people that we need to be looking out for more, and I think that's a very, very important thing that we all need to be thinking about.

00:40:42.088 --> 00:40:43.030
Who are we inviting?

00:40:43.030 --> 00:40:44.574
How are we inviting?

00:40:44.574 --> 00:40:49.585
Am I thinking about somebody during the weekend, calling them, saying you know, I'm thinking about you, love to have you over?

00:40:49.585 --> 00:40:52.782
Or, if it was an afterthought, they just bump into someone and say you want to come over?

00:40:52.782 --> 00:40:56.885
It's a whole different mentality how we do that.

00:40:57.005 --> 00:41:02.068
Now, yeah, of course, we should invite people who are enjoyable to be around and who our family appreciates.

00:41:02.068 --> 00:41:16.286
But those individuals who are bringing, people who are harder to have, people who are more compromised sometimes they're physically compromised, sometimes they're emotionally compromised Sometimes they're not the easiest guests.

00:41:16.286 --> 00:41:17.996
Sometimes, you know, they're people who are difficult to have.

00:41:17.996 --> 00:41:20.925
But that is the mitzvah of Ahasuerus on the highest level.

00:41:20.925 --> 00:41:21.748
That's what Avram did.

00:41:21.807 --> 00:41:28.773
Avram was looking for people when out of his way to find people and made sure that they weren't people who were taken care of.

00:41:28.773 --> 00:41:30.503
These are people who are completely lost.

00:41:30.503 --> 00:41:33.266
They're in the desert, and those are the people Avraham Avinu invited into his house.

00:41:33.266 --> 00:41:43.708
Those are the people that we should be looking out for, not to the exclusion of neighbors, family and friends, of course, because it could be, if you're not inviting those people, they'll be insulted, they'll be hurt and then you're aggrieving them.

00:41:43.708 --> 00:41:45.099
That might be an isra'v onah.

00:41:45.099 --> 00:41:48.804
But yes, let's think about other people who have it harder.

00:41:48.804 --> 00:41:50.547
There's so many people who are lonely.

00:41:50.547 --> 00:41:55.932
There's so many people in every community, every town, from the big cities to the small cities, in town, out of town.

00:41:55.932 --> 00:42:02.206
All they want to do is to connect with somebody else, and that Shabbos invitation could keep them going for weeks.

00:42:02.206 --> 00:42:08.728
When they're thought about before and when you continue to think about that you were invited by this person.

00:42:08.728 --> 00:42:11.382
It gives a person an enormous, enormous amount of strength.

00:42:11.382 --> 00:42:15.273
So I think that's a wonderful, wonderful area to be Mechazik.

00:42:16.141 --> 00:42:22.224
So now I have an opportunity to ask you a very controversial question, and you write about in your book that it is controversial.

00:42:22.224 --> 00:42:44.641
I bet you know what I'm about to ask you, that now that I'm going to invite people that maybe I am not so close with and share my Kaveret, so what if I know that they're not going to make a bracha on it, meaning that they are not necessarily so stringent in their mitzvah as observance, maybe they aren't even religious?

00:42:44.641 --> 00:42:51.492
Um or meaning, am I allowed to ask them to drive or come for the holiday?

00:42:51.492 --> 00:43:03.106
Am I allowed to enable the chesed or do achnasuz or chesed if it might lead towards some other Jew, maybe not keeping the laws of Shabbos or kashres perfectly?

00:43:03.106 --> 00:43:05.568
What does halacha say in that situation?

00:43:06.422 --> 00:43:11.146
It's a very, very controversial question and the Gadolay Apostolic Scheme contemporarily have addressed that.

00:43:11.146 --> 00:43:14.851
Shlomo Zalman Urbach, actually Zatzal, addressed that specifically.

00:43:14.851 --> 00:43:16.016
Heomo Zalman Urbach, actually Zatzal, addressed that specifically.

00:43:16.016 --> 00:43:19.465
He wrote a letter to the Anhala, to the leadership, to the administration, to or Sameach and Yerushalayim.

00:43:19.465 --> 00:43:35.400
They were asking the question whether or not it's permitted to invite a Michal El Shabbos to their house on Shabbos, when it was quite clear that those individuals would be driving to the home, driving to the house, driving to the house or in a situation Shlomo Zalman Urbach had when his yeshiva Kol Torah inaugurated its new building.

00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:54.427
So many of the benefactors and the philanthropists were not religious, secular Israelis and the question that was raised from Shlomo Zalman Urbach was whether or not they could provide them with refreshments kibur kal and a little bit of a suda, when they know that they weren't wearing a yarmulke and they weren't going to make a bracha.

00:43:54.427 --> 00:44:02.467
Well, sisa, shame hashem will catch a lot of and and making a bracha of atal kavinis or the rice, at least according to many we shown him.

00:44:02.467 --> 00:44:07.103
And ramsha mizam, or brach, says that it's mutter, absolutely mutter.

00:44:07.103 --> 00:44:20.963
And the reason he says it's mutter because if you don't take care of them, you don't invite them for shos, or you don't give them the food, they're going to disrespect you and they're going to be very, very pained by your behavior.

00:44:20.963 --> 00:44:27.849
And that says in Shlomo Zalman, the Isser Deir Eissa, that the Torah tells us they'll wind up hating you.

00:44:27.849 --> 00:44:38.826
So there, shlomo Zalman says better to give them something to eat, better to invite them over because you're helping them, protect them that they're not over a bigger law of the Yisra'el, of the Sistah, of the Sikhi.

00:44:38.826 --> 00:44:53.148
So, therefore, again, knowing how to weigh and to balance all of areas of the Tariq Mitzvahs, this is what Gadol Yisrael have taught us here.

00:44:53.148 --> 00:44:53.949
B'shalom HaZam Malor.

00:44:53.949 --> 00:44:59.304
But nonetheless, you need to think about how they're going to react and respond and what the fallout is going to be.

00:44:59.826 --> 00:45:05.342
When it comes to inviting somebody for shabbos, shlomo Zalm Arbach, famously, was the poseik who held that.

00:45:05.342 --> 00:45:09.166
As long as you give the opportunity for them to stay, that would be enough.

00:45:09.166 --> 00:45:14.592
So, therefore, if you invite them for shabbos and and you say there will be a place, we have a bedroom, it has to be sincere, it has to be real.

00:45:14.592 --> 00:45:23.157
You have to have the housing for them, you have to have the bed for them If they decide that they're not interested in staying with you for those years.

00:45:23.157 --> 00:45:24.121
They're going to go home.

00:45:24.121 --> 00:45:28.331
That's their decision, but you've given a real, bona fide opportunity to do so.

00:45:28.360 --> 00:45:32.967
There's no question that in Chutzlar that Pesach is pretty much the psach that's been a scabble.

00:45:32.967 --> 00:45:39.175
And there's no question that how many Yidin today, how many from Yidin are there that we have because of that psach?

00:45:39.175 --> 00:45:49.065
Because they saw Shabbos Suda, because they had a very warm meal, a nice meal, they connected with the Torah family and therefore, as a result, they had been influenced and positively influenced as a result.

00:45:49.065 --> 00:45:53.050
But indeed, at the same time, as you'll see in the Sefer, there are many who are very opposed to that.

00:45:53.050 --> 00:45:56.554
Moshe Feinstein's atzal took a much stronger, harsher approach to that.

00:45:56.554 --> 00:46:02.586
He wrote a letter to Bayer Kaplan telling Bayer Kaplan that they can never have people drive to a beginner's minyan on Shabbos.

00:46:02.586 --> 00:46:03.990
That would be inappropriate, that would be wrong.

00:46:04.480 --> 00:46:16.873
So therefore, there has to be a balance and, like all areas of halacha, if you have to ask these questions, there has to be a system, a policy and protocol and understanding how you do this.

00:46:16.893 --> 00:46:18.393
It's not a hefker, it's not a free-for-all.

00:46:18.393 --> 00:46:27.889
Just because you're doing kiruv doesn't mean that you know we could do whatever we want and you know, the rules of shulchanach are just bypassed and they're voided and it doesn't exist anymore.

00:46:27.889 --> 00:46:36.907
There's a system, there's an approach, and this gets back really to the making of a halachic decision.

00:46:36.907 --> 00:47:12.693
Knowing how to paskin in these complicated, compromised, tenuous situations where you could sort of pull the string from two ends, needs a posig mufuk, needs somebody who has understanding and depth to appreciate ikra adin chumrah kula, what's an area to be more relaxed, where Torah tells us and where halacha tells us that we could be more um, you know, forgiving, if that's the right word to use these questions that are significant, that are serious and also relate, as we noted, both to ben andal chaveh and ben andal l'makom and need a serious attention rabbi, you're, you're brilliant and it's it's not the slightest wonder why your books are are selling, selling so well.

00:47:12.920 --> 00:47:17.086
Such tact, um, finesse, and answering the questions and giving over the sock.

00:47:17.086 --> 00:47:22.355
I have endless questions, but I don't want to keep everybody from their bonfires.

00:47:22.355 --> 00:47:27.208
Maybe I could just do one more question and then we can kind of conclude with our final thoughts.

00:47:27.208 --> 00:47:28.632
Would that be fair, please?

00:47:31.398 --> 00:47:45.342
I drive like a crazy man sometimes because I have timelines where if I'm driving here I'm like there's like four roads that all lead to the same places that everyone needs to go and there's probably 100,000 Jews here.

00:47:45.342 --> 00:48:01.259
But since it's one lane highways, if one, maybe mother with eight kids is waiting to make the left and there's a backup down the whole highway, or it's supposed to to be highway, but it's a one lane street here in Lakewood, so so it could get to me with my me dose.

00:48:01.259 --> 00:48:09.998
So sometimes I will drive faster than not the speed limit, because my father's listening, but you know, within five of the speed limit.

00:48:09.998 --> 00:48:20.561
But I want to know in Halacha, if I cut someone off in driving honking, cutting somebody off what should be my approach?

00:48:20.561 --> 00:48:28.958
What does the torah and halacha say about driving in intense times, especially here in lakewood, that's?

00:48:29.099 --> 00:48:36.289
a very real question to talk about the status of a line in halacha.

00:48:36.289 --> 00:48:39.965
Does a line have any halachic teeth to it?

00:48:39.965 --> 00:48:48.141
It's actually not so simple to find the makor in Chazal and Shas that a line plays significance, so maybe I could cut somebody off.

00:48:48.141 --> 00:48:59.061
The Torah and Chazal talk about scholarship, gender in terms of priorities, so there's never such a thing, hayekha Koidman.

00:48:59.302 --> 00:49:00.724
I come first, hayekha Koidman.

00:49:01.146 --> 00:49:01.606
Very good.

00:49:01.606 --> 00:49:05.442
So, hayekha Koidman, yes, but it depends who you are.

00:49:05.442 --> 00:49:09.168
We have a Kohen, we have a Levi, we have Yisrael, we have men, we have women.

00:49:17.534 --> 00:49:18.956
There are many different gradations in terms of levels in Kalaulia.

00:49:18.956 --> 00:49:19.755
So If I'm a coin, I can cut somebody off.

00:49:19.755 --> 00:49:20.255
Not only that you should.

00:49:20.255 --> 00:49:22.958
If you're not a coin, you should give the coin the opportunity to go first.

00:49:22.958 --> 00:49:32.483
That's the mitzvah, as I say, the rice of the Kiddash, but cutting somebody off arguably the reason that that would be a problem.

00:49:32.523 --> 00:49:33.923
If you're driving, you want to cut somebody off.

00:49:33.923 --> 00:49:43.447
If you want to cut somebody in line in a supermarket and the like, that would be probably fall under the category of oh no, that you're aggrieving somebody.

00:49:43.447 --> 00:49:44.568
You're paining somebody.

00:49:44.568 --> 00:49:52.472
Here's somebody who's been waiting and has done nothing else but wait to be served, to be taken care of, and I'm simply coming and cutting you off.

00:49:52.472 --> 00:49:54.541
You've angered somebody.

00:49:54.541 --> 00:49:58.503
You have violated the law according to the Ramban of Ahavasrayim.

00:49:58.503 --> 00:50:00.376
You're not loving your neighbor like you love yourself.

00:50:00.376 --> 00:50:02.925
You wouldn't want somebody to do that to you, so how can you do it to somebody else?

00:50:02.925 --> 00:50:09.054
So therefore, these are areas where a person has to really calculate their behavior.

00:50:09.054 --> 00:50:12.262
Like Hazal say, a person is tested kiso kaso.

00:50:12.262 --> 00:50:13.907
A person is tested how they behave with their money.

00:50:13.907 --> 00:50:19.416
Person is tested kiso kaso.

00:50:19.416 --> 00:50:20.561
A person is tested how they behave with their money.

00:50:20.561 --> 00:50:21.643
Person is tested how they hang out with their honor.

00:50:21.643 --> 00:50:22.867
These are areas where a person is really tested.

00:50:22.867 --> 00:50:29.224
And when you get in your car and when you get online, that's when a person is really, really defined and that's when a person really is judged.

00:50:29.224 --> 00:50:32.056
That's when a person really knows what they're all about.

00:50:32.797 --> 00:50:38.365
I'll tell you something you know when you read biographies of Gedolah Yisrael.

00:50:38.365 --> 00:50:40.769
So what do we take out of them?

00:50:40.769 --> 00:50:44.864
And a lot of what we take out is they're godless, they're genius.

00:50:44.864 --> 00:50:53.942
But there's something else, and this is the most important thing maybe, that exists in all biographies Gedolah Yisrael had impeccable midos.

00:50:53.942 --> 00:50:55.126
Impeccable midos.

00:50:55.235 --> 00:51:08.302
You read about Rabbi Yisrael Salanter and the Chafetz Chaim, rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky, rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz these people, they had enormous depth of heart and incredible sensitivity.

00:51:08.302 --> 00:51:20.467
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter coined the phrase Gezal Sheina Not stealing somebody's sleep, being careful when somebody's resting and sleeping, not to be loud, not to be noisy, not to trample over somebody.

00:51:20.467 --> 00:51:26.126
The Chavetz Chaim authored, you know, the Shemira Salashon because people weren't behaving correctly.

00:51:26.126 --> 00:51:31.280
The Chavetz Chaim wrote the Sefer Avas Chesed because he wanted people to be able to be taking care of each other.

00:51:31.280 --> 00:51:33.063
Chaim Shmulevitz before was popular.

00:51:33.405 --> 00:51:36.010
You know, in every WhatsApp you see somebody hugging a soldier.

00:51:36.010 --> 00:51:44.563
Reb Chaim Shmulevitz, 1960s and 1970s, would see an Israeli soldier, would hug him, would cry, would daven for him, because that's my brother.

00:51:44.563 --> 00:51:53.340
And Reb Yaakov Kamnetsky, his midos and his ability to act with integrity, titin emes liyakov.

00:51:53.340 --> 00:51:59.047
This is what makes us the nation we are, this is what makes us the people we are, that we have ancestors like this.

00:51:59.047 --> 00:52:01.510
We have people to look up to like this.

00:52:01.510 --> 00:52:07.300
And what makes a yid a yid is asheri mi shibol akad mitalmud liyad.

00:52:07.474 --> 00:52:08.780
Take a look in psalchim andaf.

00:52:08.780 --> 00:52:10.556
Nun, the Rebbeinu Hananl explains that to me.

00:52:10.556 --> 00:52:14.260
If you see a person acting with gurmidos, that means they're learning well.

00:52:14.260 --> 00:52:22.949
If you see a person who behaves properly, that means they have Talmud be-yadah, because then the Torah penetrated them.

00:52:22.949 --> 00:52:35.458
Then the Torah has taught them how to behave and the goal really of Talmud Torah is to be able to be a person who is elevated and to be a person who's closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu but closer to each other, and to be a person who's closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu but closer to each other.

00:52:35.478 --> 00:52:39.782
I've seen with my Rebbe and I've seen with those who I feel a stronger closeness to.

00:52:39.782 --> 00:52:43.186
Those who I look up to are people who act appropriately.

00:52:43.186 --> 00:52:49.971
It's not attractive when you see somebody get angry and upset and who acts rough and gruff and doesn't.

00:52:49.971 --> 00:52:51.411
Who's attracted to such people?

00:52:51.411 --> 00:52:56.697
The people who are most attracted to are the people who are pleasant.

00:52:56.697 --> 00:53:01.668
Rav Tam's gadlos besides his gadlos betorah was because he was a pleasant person.

00:53:01.668 --> 00:53:04.204
He was a person who acted with piety.

00:53:04.204 --> 00:53:06.853
Why were the Chavetz Chaim's Svarim so niskabel?

00:53:06.853 --> 00:53:12.568
Because he was a person who imbued and embodied all of those behaviors and lived them.

00:53:12.568 --> 00:53:22.315
The people we are so attracted to and who we so look up to are those people who are refined, who act appropriately, who act properly, and that's what Gedol Yisrael was.

00:53:22.315 --> 00:53:38.278
When you read biographies, look in the biographies not just about the genius and the pure academic minds and the ability that Gedol Yisrael had to understand text and appreciate them and to work hard and the lumbus and the hasmada.

00:53:38.940 --> 00:53:41.065
But how did Gadoliso behave to each other?

00:53:41.065 --> 00:53:44.099
How did they treat kittens and animals?

00:53:44.099 --> 00:53:47.405
How did they treat people who were poor?

00:53:47.405 --> 00:53:49.557
How did they treat people who weren't as successful?

00:53:49.557 --> 00:53:51.864
How did they treat the average person on the street?

00:53:51.864 --> 00:53:53.146
That's the test.

00:53:53.146 --> 00:53:55.021
So the test is how you drive.

00:53:55.021 --> 00:53:57.360
The test is how you act in the supermarket.

00:53:57.360 --> 00:53:59.545
The test is how you behave in your dorm room.

00:53:59.974 --> 00:54:12.161
The test is how you behave in your house, in your office, when not people aren't looking, and that's when the gedder of ben adam hachaveh emerges and that's when we know a person's real self and real sense.

00:54:12.161 --> 00:54:14.005
And this is what should motivate us.

00:54:14.005 --> 00:54:26.498
God willing, it's part of this motivation congregation, beautiful podcast you have and great work that you're doing is that we should all be motivated, inspired to be working in a way we are bettering ourselves, we're climbing the ladder.

00:54:26.498 --> 00:54:32.320
Like Rav Sadjugon says that he was a better person today than he was the day before, and part of life.

00:54:32.320 --> 00:54:40.760
Like you pointed out from the Gra, and as we know that Gedol Israel said, rabbi Israel Salanter says this, and Chavitz Chaim makes this point we have to be better.

00:54:40.760 --> 00:54:50.157
We have to be more caring, more sensitive, more understanding, more nuanced in everything that we do, and that's what makes us the people we are.

00:54:50.157 --> 00:54:56.597
That's what makes us the nation that we are by Shonim Rachmanim.

00:54:56.597 --> 00:54:57.965
The people we are, that's what makes us the nation that we are.

00:54:57.965 --> 00:55:00.818
That's what the Gemara tells us, that we are defined by those three characteristics Are we caring?

00:55:00.818 --> 00:55:01.480
Are we kind?

00:55:01.480 --> 00:55:02.422
Are we philanthropic?

00:55:02.422 --> 00:55:03.186
Are we beneficial?

00:55:03.186 --> 00:55:04.617
Are we sensitive?

00:55:04.617 --> 00:55:05.380
Are we caring?

00:55:05.380 --> 00:55:06.824
Do we perform chesed?

00:55:06.824 --> 00:55:08.135
This is what makes us, the nation.

00:55:08.135 --> 00:55:09.599
This is what makes us the people that we are.

00:55:10.081 --> 00:55:29.498
Learning Torah isn't just a pure academic achievement, and the goal is not just to learn Sfarman, to go through Shas and to be better in the areas of Ben Adon HaMakam, but Ben Adon HaMakam has to be equated, just like, we said, the Dibrot.

00:55:29.498 --> 00:55:31.804
Ben Adon HaMakam, ben Adon HaMakam are equivalent.

00:55:31.804 --> 00:55:39.684
They're five and five, and Los Achmor is just as important as Shemir Shabbos and Kibra Ve'eim is just as important as Anoche Hashem Elokecha.

00:55:39.684 --> 00:55:42.514
That's what we have to be doing, that's what we have to be focusing on.

00:55:42.514 --> 00:55:48.525
There has to be that balance and that nuance and we can't have this focus in one area, not the other.

00:55:55.876 --> 00:55:58.083
Those were some iconic couple minutes here on the podcast that should be listened to on repeat.

00:55:58.083 --> 00:56:04.903
Those golden words that you just spoke there, rabbi walter, who's the biggest mensch that you know now I'm really gonna get in trouble.

00:56:04.923 --> 00:56:06.226
And they asked me the hardest question.

00:56:07.818 --> 00:56:10.384
I'll tell you something not not excluding anyone else.

00:56:10.384 --> 00:56:13.318
Everyone could be a big mensch or honorable mention.

00:56:13.318 --> 00:56:16.085
I came up with that pun, honorable menschens.

00:56:16.085 --> 00:56:18.583
But who's the biggest mensch?

00:56:19.556 --> 00:56:21.724
I'll tell you what I'm most inspired by.

00:56:21.724 --> 00:56:33.382
I'm most inspired by the people who ask me questions in Bin Adon HaHaber, when I get a shayla about did I do this properly or what should I do in this situation.

00:56:33.382 --> 00:56:37.498
Did I do this properly or what should I do in this situation?

00:56:37.498 --> 00:57:05.505
I have that now, a particular few difficult situations that people are asking me about, but when a person is sensitive and understands that I need to figure out the right way to approach, whether it's a child, a parent, a friend, a relative, a neighbor something happened that, to me, is the definition of a mensch is somebody who recognizes that I'm not just going to take care of this myself, or I'm not going to pretend that it didn't happen.

00:57:05.505 --> 00:57:07.271
What's the right way to behave?

00:57:07.271 --> 00:57:08.695
And it could be with a non-Jew.

00:57:09.077 --> 00:57:09.898
I have this very often.

00:57:09.898 --> 00:57:12.643
Did I behave properly to my housekeeper?

00:57:12.643 --> 00:57:14.827
Did I behave properly to my nanny?

00:57:14.827 --> 00:57:16.295
Should I do this?

00:57:16.295 --> 00:57:17.077
Should I not do that?

00:57:17.077 --> 00:57:18.581
I can't pay them on time.

00:57:18.581 --> 00:57:19.824
Do I have to pay them on time?

00:57:19.824 --> 00:57:44.384
There are so many people who are eager to do the right thing and those people are asking those questions and we really, if anything emerges from this, it's that we should be more mindful and be more thoughtful and more sensitive in all of our behaviors and interactions with other people and when there's something that is questionable, think about it and see.

00:57:44.384 --> 00:57:46.387
What does the halacha require of me?

00:57:46.387 --> 00:57:47.496
What am I supposed to do?

00:57:47.496 --> 00:57:50.159
Ask Shiles in all areas of halacha.

00:57:51.159 --> 00:58:00.670
Rabbi, all I can tell the people is go and buy the book because we're not going to have the time to go through all these questions.

00:58:00.670 --> 00:58:02.802
We've got to wrap up because there's bonfires to get to.

00:58:02.802 --> 00:58:18.541
But I'm telling you, people, the other questions of it comes down to whether or not you can put a check mark next to the mitzvah of I went to a chasana to gladden the chasana and kala.

00:58:18.541 --> 00:58:20.885
If you do it right, then you did the mitzvah.

00:58:20.885 --> 00:58:24.686
But it's possible to attend a wedding and maybe and not fulfill the mitzvah.

00:58:24.686 --> 00:58:26.313
You got to find out the guidelines.

00:58:26.333 --> 00:58:36.849
Ladies and gentlemen, um, all the ideas I have questions that we're not going to be able to get to, about war and this situation of hostages and wartime.

00:58:36.849 --> 00:58:38.677
There are different.

00:58:38.677 --> 00:58:41.945
These are unique scenarios that you know.

00:58:41.945 --> 00:58:46.369
They're not exactly even new to the world of the Jewish world, the Jewish world in post-gift persecution.

00:58:46.369 --> 00:58:47.233
You reference.

00:58:47.233 --> 00:58:51.583
There's literature in your book that you go through clearly about at least what to ask about.

00:58:51.583 --> 00:59:09.661
What's a shayla Organ donation, one of the most incredible chapters I have to tell just to speak out and the idea of it could be koposach t'lech chayuseh that I want to run advertisements of this interview that I thought was great and I want people to click on it.

00:59:09.661 --> 00:59:14.824
So I'm going to run this ad on my friend's podcast because I'm going to steal all of his listeners to listen to my podcast.

00:59:14.824 --> 00:59:17.222
That's halacha Shiloh, am I correct?

00:59:17.815 --> 00:59:19.862
Absolutely Very, very serious, Shiloh.

00:59:21.356 --> 00:59:25.097
So people buy the book the Making of a Mench Rabbi.

00:59:25.097 --> 00:59:31.728
If I may, any other books, rabbi Walter coming down the chute, that we may know of Any future writings.

00:59:32.614 --> 00:59:45.742
Yeah, I'm actually working on the making of the Siddur, the history of the origins, the development of Nusach and people teaching people how to appreciate, I guess, the Dinsim, baruch, shammar and Shmonesh.

00:59:45.742 --> 00:59:56.782
Everybody thinks whatever's in the Siddur is identical and there's not so much knowledge amongst all of us who are davening three times a day about the tefillahs that we're davening.

00:59:56.782 --> 01:00:14.315
All of that is going to be addressed.

01:00:14.315 --> 01:00:18.114
The making of the sitter incredible.

01:00:18.903 --> 01:00:19.835
I thank you for your time.

01:00:19.835 --> 01:00:29.295
I hope that people will not only buy the making of a mensch, but if you want to know more about halacha and more about a minach, I'm going to have to get you back on the podcast.

01:00:31.086 --> 01:00:34.704
Looking forward it was a pleasure thank you for your time.

01:00:35.277 --> 01:00:44.903
Thank you for helping us learn what it means to be a mensch and prepare ourselves for Harsinai thank you, yes, keep up your great work, michal.

01:00:44.903 --> 01:00:46.925
Amen amen.

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