Parshas Bamidbar: I CAN. I WILL. I MUST.

Transcript

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I can, I will, I must.

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That is the mindset that we learn from Parshas Bamidbar and that is the mindset that one should have going into Shavuos I can, I will, I must.

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And we pick things up at the beginning of this Sefer.

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Sefer, bamidbar, bamidbar, sinai, and, after a rather brief introduction, pazik Bez.

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Do that, well, what does mean?

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Well, let us look at Rashi.

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I was perplexed and I too looked at Rashi, but like a child sitting out in the freezing cold Siberian winter without even the slightest windbreaker on, there is no Rashi to help us.

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What does the word Su'u mean?

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Clearly it's self-explanatory, or it's something we should know?

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Otherwise, rashi would tell us.

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After freaking out for a couple minutes, I thought wait, let me look at the Ramban.

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Maybe Nachmanides will help us out.

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And sure enough, we were able to find our way back inside to the cozy, warm house of clarity.

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For the Ramban tells us, it literally means to lift up your head.

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Lift up, esros, your head.

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The Ramban translates it Lift up your head to be counted, as is clearly evident from the rest of the postdoc, each individual of the assembly of Israel should come forward based on their house.

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Let's figure out where they're from.

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Let's understand their names.

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Let's figure out everyone in Klal Yisrael.

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Raise your head to be counted.

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The counting begins.

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Hashem says to count.

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Then well, we're going to count.

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The tribal leaders are named.

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Then well, we're going to count.

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The tribal leaders are named.

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We figure out how many people are from the tribe of Ruvain, shimon, god, yehuda, yesachar.

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And as we make our way through this parasha, the more you turn the pages to figure out when the exciting stories of all of the gallantry and mutinies will happen.

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And Sefer Bamidbar, we find really just more statistics, more of the counting of the exact amount of Israelites there are.

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We get the total.

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We figure out some laws about the Levim Before we have another counting.

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We figure out some laws about the Levium before we have another counting.

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We figure out some more longitude and latitude for the exact location of each and every tribe, where they should be in their surrounding encampments around the Mishkan.

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It's very much a God forbid we should call it dry that you can hear the peanut gallery saying wake me up when the good stuff should arrive.

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Wake me up when the su'um, when the raising of the head, the census is complete.

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Wake me up when Korach rebels or when Pinchas, shish, kebabs, the sinners.

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So our first question is why is the su'u es rosh so important?

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Why does the Torah elongate feel the need to express clearly and definitively every single individual's se'us rosh?

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And question number two and halt kap, hear me out for a second, for we're going to enter into the study halls, pull up a chair, take a seat and reference a gemara, reference a tosfos, and understand a question and then lead us into the promised land where Rav Moshe Feinstein tells us the answer that ties, or, with Hashem's help, will tie everything together.

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The Gemara can be found in Mesech to Megillah Daphlamid, aleph Amudbez, tanya Ripshimim, ben Elozar, omer Ezra Tiken, lahem Li, yisrael Shiu Kairin Kalolo Shibetairas, kehanam K Ezra enacted that the Jewish people should read the portion of the curses that are in Sefer Vayikra before Shavuos and the portion of the curses that are recorded in Sefer Devarim before Rosh Hashanah.

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And the Gemara asks why, my time?

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What is the reason for this enactment, for this decree, for this insertion?

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A dispute about who said the following statement the reason is for Kedai Shetichle Hashanah V'Kleleisa, so that the year, as it concludes, should conclude with its curses.

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That is to say that we end the year, go into Rosh Hashanah anew and keep your curses for the last year and this year should be a year of blessing.

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Your obvious question is probably, if you're halting cup, what the Gemara asks over here.

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The Gemara takes an issue with this statement.

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I understand it's a new year in Devarim when we're going into Rosh Hashanah, it's that time of year After Parshas, bechukosai.

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At this time point, otu Atzeres, rosh Hashanahi is the day of Shavuos, any sort of new year.

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So why do we need to Tikhle Shana Imekleloysel?

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What year is ending for the curses to end with it?

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The Gemara answers you made a mistake.

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In fact, yes, in Atzeres Nami, rosh Hashanah, shavuos is a Rosh Hashanah, a new year.

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It's not Uv Atzeres, al-peyros Ha'ilon that Shavuos.

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Divine judgment is made concerning the fruits of the trees, our produce, what we will accomplish at a deeper level in our results of our spiritual pursuits.

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And as we glance to the outer margin to try to understand this, gemara, as we look at Toismas, we figure out that what was the actual Takana?

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What do we do to separate between the curses of Bechukosai and Shavuos?

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Something actually practical seems to be enacted.

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When we read Sinai, we read this week's parasha, we begin the book of Numbers in order that we do not, do not juxtapose, connect the klalos of last week.

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It is that stands as the wall, as the, the guardrail between the bad and hopefully the future good and Rav Moshe Feinstein.

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He wants to know why.

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Why is it that Bamidbar?

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What do we have?

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What does Teissevis see that specifically the Abish Dirt shows that Bamidbar and what we learn, and all the statistics and the counting and the encampment.

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Why is that?

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What should shut off the klalos and lead us into a happy acceptance of the Torah?

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And says the great Rav Moshe Feinstein in his Sefer Dorash Moshe, this piece is tucked away right after Parshas Bechukosai.

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It's underneath the title of On the Holiday of Shavuos, says Rav Moshe that there's a tremendous connection between Shavuos and Parshas Bamidbar, because when we were supposed to be accepting the Torah with excitement, with great fervor, as a Nasev Anishma Akimu V'Kiblu Hashem, I can't thank you enough that you chose me to follow your mitzvos.

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Many people doubt themselves of their sufficient abilities to be able to pull through on the Torah.

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Many people feel a bit hesitant about saying Nasev Anishma, gentlemen will think 2700 bleta of gemara, that I have to finish 14 books of the Rambam and I have to schedule my life around Hashem and all of his mitzvos.

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I would love to, I would love to commit to doing everything and I would love to speak to Hashem thrice daily, but it's a lot to ask.

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Yes, I want to shout out loud and I want the angels to come and put crowns on my head on the 6th of Sivan, but it ain't so easy to not forward a bit of gossip to my friend when it's kind of funny.

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It isn't so hard to refrain from intermingling with other nations and intermingling with Gentiles.

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It isn't so easy to serve Hashem with love.

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It feels hopeless.

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It feels hopeless.

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It feels like the, the re-acceptance with love that we're supposed to have Every Shavuos.

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It feels distant and it feels impossible.

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Zaktir HaMasha, zaktai Svis, zakti Gemara with its enactment.

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Read Sefer Bamidbar.

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What do you see?

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You'll see it right at the beginning.

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You can't miss it.

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Se'u Esroish, lift up your head.

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Sezrev Moshe, the counting is Moshe, meeting the people and looking them dead in the eye and saying that you are one of the Jewish people.

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You are one of these 600,000 individuals.

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You are one, just like the great Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky is one, and just like the stipler was one.

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Lift your head up and understand your significance, your distinctiveness.

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Se'u is a counting of an understanding of self-worth.

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A mensch will think he's b'srashel, he gives up hope.

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He's.

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He gives up hope.

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He cannot become a, he cannot do everything that's expected of him.

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But we must be counted.

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You must know that you are the same one of the Jewish people as the greatest.

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That oneness, that lifting up of your head and recognizing of what happened and what changed at Harsinai, and the clarity that you have and the innate potential that you can bring out, just like every single great Torah giant that's counted in that 600,000, that you can be like them, that needs to be impressed deeply into the hearts and souls of each Jew.

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It really is a frightening thing that the world is so obsessed with giving a certain name, a diagnosis.

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It can't just be that one is sick or one has anxiety.

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It has to be actually determined that it is a chronic anxiety, it's an OCD.

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It has to be determined that this person doesn't just have a headache, it's a migraine headache type C.

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There needs to be a certain label slapped upon it and we can do that.

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God forbid in ourselves and our own potential that, whatever the reality is, we can label ourselves as that reality.

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And as the Yates Sahara continues to shackle us into our jail cells to believe that, well, I chose earner, not learner.

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Well, therefore, that's my reality and I can't switch teams to become a learner.

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But as the Satan continues to do is, he chains us to the ground and doesn't let us see out of our jail cells to see the new, fresh reality and what our true cojos are.

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Sit u-es-ros, you raise your head to see above the jail cell and you recognize what you can accomplish.

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It's one of my favorite psukkim in all of Psalms and all of Tehillim, psalms 42,.

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It's membez, it is pasuk yodgimu V'odam bikar bal yolin nim shol kabahem aznidmu and man becar in his glory.

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If he doesn't get it, if he doesn't get his greatness, he's no greater than an animal.

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If you don't help your yachar, your grandeur, what it means to have seichel and choose and do, if you don't chep your yachar, your grandeur, what it means to have seichel and choose and do in your gifts, well then you can be very easily compared to an animal that walks upon four feet and eats animal food.

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An incredible story here that really sheds light on this.

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The great Rebbe Chaim Valazhener was once walking with a couple of his students and off on the side of the road there was a small little kind of skinny-looking Gentile fellow trying to get his animal a big strapping bull to move forward, trying to tell it come here, bessie, because that was the name of the bull.

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Trying to get it to move, pushing it, yelling at it, but nothing.

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And all of a sudden he picked up the whip or maybe it was the spur on the back of his boot and dug it into the bull, whipped the bull and said giddy up.

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And sure enough, the bull started to go.

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The boy got its attention.

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The Gentile got the bull to listen to him and Reb Chaim told his students.

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He said you know why doesn't that bull just turn around and pounce on that little fella, pulverize him?

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But you know why?

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Because the animal doesn't understand that it can do that.

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It doesn't have its tendency or how it's been pre-wired by Akadosh Baruch Hu, its instinct.

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It just doesn't get that it can trounce an animal that has that innate fear.

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But, ladies and gentlemen, if we go into Harsinai without thoughts that we can be great, without thought that you can stop a certain sin, if we go into the holiday of Shavuot, as to our Nasev and Nishma day, with thoughts that we are nothing greater than a bull and we do not understand that we can turn around and pounce on our Yetzir Hora.

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Well then, we're lacking our Se'u Es Rosh, a held head erect, and we're lacking the mindset that's going to get us to the promised land of actually becoming God-fearing, successful Jews.

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A person needs to take a deep look into the mirror and see himself and recognize what it is that are his gifts and what it is that he can accomplish.

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Rabbi Yerucham, the great mirrorumashkiach during the roaring 20s, the great spiritual dean, he said once that oy vavoy, oy, it's shrekloch.

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It's terrible when a mensch doesn't know just how many struggles he has.

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He doesn't understand where is Yitzhahara getting him, and he has.

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He doesn't understand where is Yitzharah getting him and he's never made a cheshbon on nefesh to understand what he struggles with, perhaps, maybe, how lazy he is, but doubly woe, but woe, oy vavoy is it if a mensch doesn't understand what his gifts are, what his milos are, for his entire reason.

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His soul has been sent down to this earth in order that he develop his gifts, that he use his amelas to bring out the flowering of his devotion to Hashem and his obedience to HaKadosh, baruch Hu's mitzvahs to place himself up in the beautiful paradise of Olam Abba.

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He's never going to be able to accomplish that if he doesn't understand his gifts.

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If he doesn't understand that, I can, that I will and I must.

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Rav Moshe tells us that this is lift up your head, both literally, to be counted, but also homiletically, metaphorically.

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Lift up your head.

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This is what we learn from Sefer Bamidbar, from Parshat Bamidbar, that separates between the curses, the lowness and the recognizing of our abilities.

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As we have to raise our head, as Chaisvah says, going into the new year of Shavuos, someone will still say, okay, I have the potential, but there's a whole lot to do.

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Rome wasn't built in a day.

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It is a lot to commit to keeping.

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So, to address that question, I gave it some thought and I'd like to tell you a personal anecdote about myself.

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It's something I came up with for a struggle that I have.

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I tend to see myself as an impulsive person.

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I'd like to keep myself from making some quick decisions.

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Got to think more methodically, make sure that we're coming out with the right decision and then slowly see to it that it gets done.

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You rush into decisions, you make mistakes, but it's hard.

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So I made a commitment once to work on it as Rishas Chachma, yiras Hashem, seichel Tov Lechol Osehem.

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You have to actually do something, seichel, that is straight is given to those who do so.

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I decided that every time a music comes on in my car, I select a song.

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I am not going to change the song until the song has come to its end, to try to work on patience, not get the high from the chorus I'm looking for, and then skip to the next song.

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I'm going to wait.

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I was able to do it for a day or two, but over time it was too hard.

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I am unafraid to admit that it's just too brutal to listen to the same high part twice, especially when my next favorite song is up next.

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It's just too much to commit to.

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But then I cut the Kabbalah super, super small, super finite.

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So now it is that only one day a week, on Mondays, I don't skip.

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I don't skip songs and I work on patience.

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I hope to eventually maybe gain some confidence in this area before taking the next step and maybe becoming one day a patient, methodical person and perhaps broadening this concept.

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This can be taken and used at a more broad scale for all of Hashem's Torah, for if you are a student coming to Hashem and saying we will do and we will understand Hashem, I'm fully there but I'm working towards it.

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Because if I commit to doing it all right now, to being patient, to finishing Shas in a day impossible, but I'm in, I am your Eved, I am Nasev and Nishma and see that I've made a practical change, probably then Hashem will be pretty excited that you actually have made a decision that will help you to go up one rung and gain some confidence.

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You do one Amidah day, you work on some patience a little bit a day, and when the king sees that his Eved, or when the teacher sees that his Eved, or when the teacher sees that his student is putting in the effort, is actually staying late in class, spending five extra minutes to study a bit more, don't you think that the expert principal and teacher is going to be proud of your new commitment, your new nasa v'nishma?

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So it's se'u esrosh, it's where Misha says to understand that you can become like Irv Misha Feinstein.

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You can become an absolute somebody that has authentic fear of heaven that, when left alone in a room, will say Hashem is watching me and you will have that same beautiful and peaceful, alone in a room, will say Hashem is watching me and you will have that same beautiful and peaceful Shemona Esrei, no matter who's watching.

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It is in the wilderness of Sinai that the Jewish people, they, must be counted for.

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They must know that each and every single one of them you can't be great and B'midbar must be read before Shavuos says Tosfos, so that this lesson can be taught going in to the holiday.

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And it's for exactly this reason you guessed it that the statistics must be documented clearly, because every single person must be accounted for.

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Every single individual must know his distinctive nature and know from which cloth he was cut from.

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That's not Sevinishma.

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That's Adambikar.

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That's a person understanding his gifts.

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That's Adam B Carr.

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That's a person understanding his gifts.

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That's what we should go into Shavuos with, that mindset.

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Take a minute, pen down on paper your gifts, look yourself in the mirror and say I can, I will and I must.

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Take that mindset with you into the holiday of Shavuos, when you recommit and refresh your commitments to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and you take one small step closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

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It is in the wilderness of Sinai that we learn this that I can, I will, I must.

Parshas Bamidbar: I CAN. I WILL. I MUST.

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